ME2: Warden Kuril’s Folly

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I was playing Mass Effect 2 for like the 20th time when it finally dawned on me how silly the Purgatory (recruit Jack) mission is. Here is a summery in case you don’t remember:

You go to the Blue Sun owned prison ship, Purgatory, to acquire Jack. Cerberus paid for Jack’s release and you arrive to pick her up and on the way to the processing station the prison locks down. Turns out Warden Kuril is pulling the old “double-cross.” He decided Shepard is worth more as a prisoner. Then you proceed to fight your way out freeing Jack and getting off the prison. Not only thwarting Warden Kuril’s plan, but killing him during the escape.

Let’s break this down from Kuril’s point of view:

Kuril took a large payment from the Illusive Man to hand Jack over to Shepard. He decided it would be more profitable to kidnap commander Shepard … and then what? How exactly do you profit from having Shepard? I suppose he wants to sell him to the highest bidder? Who is that, the Collectors? Ok I guess that kinda makes sense although I don’t know why they would want him alive. I guess we have to assume he already has a buyer lined up… The shadow broker maybe?

But here are three more problems.

1. Kuril’s foolish confidence that his inept guards can handle a fully armed Shepard and his crew. Maybe Kuril hasn’t read the news for a while: Shepard defeated Matriarch Benezia and a squad of Asari commandos. He defeated the Turian Specter Saren and saved the citadel from the reaper. Shepard eats battalions of Geth for breakfast. He didn’t even do some kind of a sleeping gas trap? His plan was just to send 3 guards in to capture him and his “Perfect Krogan” body guard?

2. The Normandy is currently right outside, in full radio contact, and fully aware of what he is doing. Even if the prison has some kind of radio jammer, what do you suppose the crew of the Normandy will do? Just leave? The Normandy is armed and literally full of the most badass mercs in the galaxy. EDI is probably already hacked into the prison comm system and knows everything that is going on. Best case scenario, Thane, Jacob, Miranda, and Zaeed launch a little rescue party and murder everyone. Worst case scenario Joker blasts a hole in the station. Either way Kuril isn’t going anywhere with Shepard.

3. You are just going to betray the Illusive Man?

What was this guy thinking?

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NES A to Z vol 6

Air Fortress – 1/1

Starts off as a very boring side scrolling Shoot-em up, but turns into a cool side scrolling platformer with a jetpack! Jetpacks are sweet. If the shuttering sections get better as the game goes on, this might be a very awesome Nintendo game! I suggest you try it out.

AirWolf – 0/1

There are so many different cutscene in this game it ALMOST makes it cool. The problem is the actual gameplay looks and feels so horrible and maybe even glitchy? You saw how I got stuck in the map’s edge in the video… Not sure if I did something wrong or the game glitches.

Al Unser Jr Turbo Racing – 0/1

Boring. Boring uneventful game. Maybe if I was a huge … Nascar fan I wouldn’t like it. Oh is this not Nascar? I don’t give a shit.

Alfred Chicken – 0/1

The name is hilarious. Otherwise it is a pretty typical platformer where you hit switched and avoid enemies. I almost feel bad I gave this a 0 since there nothing “bad” about it. It just isn’t good. I suppose I am spoiled from so many good platformers.

Alien 3 – 0/1

Movies sucks, game sucks. It’s hard to control, you can’t tell what is a background element and what is a foreground element. The enemies come out of nowhere and hit you. It is mostly just very annoying.

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NES A to Z vol 5

Adventures of Lolo 3 – 1/1

Hey finally they teach us how to play! I guess it’s about time. Still the same gameplay as the previous two games, which I suppose is fine. I am actually surprised I never even heard of this game as a kid. Also why hasn’t there been an iOS remake?

Adventures of Rad Gravity – 0/1

I guess my biggest gripe is how little this game actually has anything to do with gravity… I was expecting some kind of gravity gun, or gravity mechanic. Nope, just a totally generic side scrolling platformer.

Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle – 0/1

Did you watch the video? Have you ever seen a more disgusting game? Actually, scratch that, because you also must have seen the adventures of Tom Sawyer. That looks much more disgusting.

Adventures of Tom Sawyer – 0/1

Did you see the looks on our faces when we saw the game? How could this even see production? I feel so sorry for the poor children who had to suffer through this.

After Burner – 0/1

It’s a pretty sweet arcade game I think, but on NES it is just a seizure-inducing mess. It seems to have all the elements of a good combat flight sim: guns, missiles, barrel rolls etc… But the controls are just too poor and the graphics too ugly. Nintendo wasn’t ready for this port. They should have waited till SNES.

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Civilization 5 Indonesian Campaign

Civilization 5 Indonesian Campaign gameplay

human war rages
on a distant unclaimed shore
another battle
Civilization 5 Indonesian Campaign gameplay

my scouting party
bring reports from Aztec lands
so magnificent
Civilization 5 Indonesian Campaign gameplay

city-state Vilnius
advanced isolationists
always ask for gold

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NES A to Z vol 4

Adventures of Bayou Billy – 0/1

I had this game when I was a kid unfortunately, and I beat it. The interesting thing about this game is it actually has 3 different types of gameplay. The awful beat-em up sections which you saw, driving sections, and first person light gun sections. The light gun sections are the most fun.

Adventures of DinoRiki – 1/1

I had this game when I was a kid as well and I remember loving it. It’s a pretty interesting take on a top down shooter. You play a caveman throwing rocks, boomerangs, fire and more. I remember going “hulk mode” and getting a set of wings eventually.

Adventures of Gilligan’s Island – 0/1

Very unfun adventure game. The walk-slowly-through-quicksand is an especially innovative mechanic. However thought of that idea should win an award.

Adventures of Lolo – 1/1

I know this game has a bit of a cult following. It’s a fine puzzle game and I bet it would feel right at home on a mobile device. There is a pretty annoying lack of tutorial which makes the learning curve awkward. Regardless, good graphics, fine music, nice puzzle game.

Adventures of Lolo 2 – 0/1

It’s nearly identical to the first game. Pretty much an expansion pack. The music and graphics are the same, and there is still no tutorial. Had no choice but to give this a 0. How much do I need to love Lolo to actually buy Lolo 2?

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NES A to Z vol 3

Special treat for every one, my boy Yury shows up for a smooth “Guys in Ties” session. Together, nothing can stop us. He sticks around for a nice series of videos!

AD&D Hillsfar – 0/1

It’s a poorly done RPG. I can appreciate AD&D going for it and making a game to represent their pen and paper gaming world but this was a massive flop. Although slow-motion horse is pretty money.

AD&D Pool of Radiance – 1/1

The got it right this time. The game controls like Dungeon Master or Eye of the Beholder, but has turn-based strategic combat. I obviously didn’t play enough to know much but it seems like a solid NES RPG.

Adventure Island 2 & 3 – 1/1

These two are pretty much the same game. I really enjoy the way they incorporated a “time” mechanic with food and hunger. Love the dinosaurs you ride. Love Mr. Higgins.

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom – 1/1

I love games that are based on mini games. The graphics are good, the music is ok, and the Disney IP has plenty of ground to cover. I bet this is a decent game.

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NES A to Z vol 2

Action 52 – 0/1

There are 52 games and they all get 0/1. Granted I only played like 3 of them, I watch both the Angry Nerd and Pat the Punk play all of the games. This game is all bad.

Addam’s Family – 0/1

Very unremarkable and boring side-scrolling platformer. The music is the best part, but it isn’t enough.

Addam’s Family Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt 0/1

Terrible platformer with no music. At least TRY for some music, I mean you had the Addam’s Family theme in the first game

AD&D DragonStrike – 1/1

One of the most original games on the NES. It’s an open-world top down shooter with an elevation mechanic, and you control a dragon! You kick everything’s ass from other dragons to pirate ships. Winner.

AD&D Heroes of the Lance – 0/1

Not sure how this game got passed any QA person in the world. It’s totally broken. You can’t even hit the enemies. You certainly cannot dodge their attacks. Unplayable.

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NES A to Z vol 1

There are just so many Nintendo games out there, who has time to play them all? Apparently I do. I decided I am going to play every game in the NES library for 5 minutes at a time. After that I will give them games a rating from 0 to 1. Here is the first batch of videos. Make sure to share it with your friends and subscribe to me on youtube!

1943: The Battle of Midway – 1/1

It’s a cool shooter set in the historical WWII setting. There are weapon upgrades, a sweet loop move, and a ton of exploding airplanes. Can’t complain.

3D WorldRunner – 1/1

I appreciate that Acclaim tried to innovate with a NES game in 3D. The graphics and 3D effects in this game are sweet despite the gameplay being pretty lame. Good enough.

720 – 0/1

Even though I really enjoy games that include a bunch of mini games, this one is simply too disgusting to play.

8 Eyes – 1/1

It sure feels like Castlevania. You get to choose what order you play the levels so even if you get stuck you can still see a bunch of the game. There seems to be a lot to it. Nice variety of music.

Abadox: The Deadly Inner War – 1/1

A side-scrolling shooter with some kind of viral, biomechanics theme. Cool upgrades, and awesome settings. Nothing wrong about it.

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Dollar Shave Club Review and Unboxing

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I have been a member of the Dollar Shave Club for two months now and I must say I am very pleased about it so far. The concept here is simple, they send you razor blades in the mail for a super low cost! Check out my unboxing video:

For as little as $1 a month you can be getting razors delivered. But let’s be honest, the only reason that bottom rung is there is to make you feel better about choosing the middle one. No one is scraping their face with a 2-blade razor… That would be barbaric. So pretty much you have 2 options, for $6 and $9 a month.

I know what you are saying: “Is that really cheaper than what I buy?” The answer is yes. I know it’s hard to remember how much razors are because you only buy them like once a quarter. I went to Walmart specifically to check and 10 Gillet razors cost between $25-30 depending on the variety you choose. That means you are paying between $2.5 or $3 per head, while DSC razors are $1.25 per head. It’a a great deal! While ordering you can also tag on a bunch of add-ons like after shave, shaving cream, and moist towelettes for a minor additional charge.

The quality of the razors is good. I wouldn’t call them amazing or outstanding, but I also wouldn’t call them bad. I certainly feel like my 2nd and 3rd shave with these get a bit rough, but I only shave twice a week. You can get a new razor every week so it is a fair trade off.

Honestly guys, there is very little risk. You sign up on a month by month basis, pay $6 once and try them out. If you don’t like them, cancel. I recommend you give it a try. If you do plan on giving it a shot, please use my affiliate link, I would appreciate it: http://shaved.by/w6m2

Update!

They sent me some sweet loot for posting a review of them online, that is super cool! I full package of one-wipe Charlies! And then only like two weeks later they sent me even more loot to celebrate prostate cancer awareness.

Dollar Shave Club Loot

charlies, shave butter,
t-shirt, thank you note
Dollar Shave Club Loot

charlies, music, crossword,
matches, scented candle

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Let’s Review Lifehacks Vol 3

A double whammy, we got bad lifehacks and also some product fails that need to be debunked. I do both in this gripping and satisfying volume.

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