I don’t know what took Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg or Jean-Claude VanDamme such a long time to finally break into commercials but, after such a long time of not seeing my favorite action star, I couldn’t be happier.
Update Holy Shit

I don’t know what took Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg or Jean-Claude VanDamme such a long time to finally break into commercials but, after such a long time of not seeing my favorite action star, I couldn’t be happier.


My favorite homey Franklin (dressed in a full basketball uniform) just finished eluding the police after going on a knife-sponsored killing spree in front of the movie theater because it was closed and I really wanted to watch “The Loneliest Robot in England.” I found myself in the rich hilly part of Los Santos and I thought maybe I would drive to the top of the highest cliff and drive off for no good reason. My ascent was interrupted by a man in the driveway yelling at his wife. Apparently they were having a lover’s quarrel and she was busy throwing all of his clothes and belongings out of the bedroom window into the driveway.
The gentlemen didn’t seem at all surprised when a black guy with blood all over his basketball uniform stepped out of the horribly smashed (and bloody) Lincoln. Instead he told me he was sick of this shit and wanted a ride to the golf course. Hm yeah ok get in. During the ride he was telling me something but I was too busy driving down the side of the cliff side trying to keep the car from flipping over to pay attention.
He thanked me for the ride and invited me to play golf with him… Sure why not, YOLO right? So there I was, Franklin in full basketball gear teeing up for my very first game of golf. I ended up +3 after nine holes, not bad at all for first timer! I got back into my beat-up car to get back to whatever I was doing… What was it anyway? I couldn’t find the way out of the parking lot and accidentally drove into the golf course. It was really fun driving my car as fast as I could through the rolling hills of the well-kept course, obviously I couldn’t resist running over as many golfers as possible. I wondered if I could find and run over the guy I just played golf with… Maybe I already did… These white-boys, they all look alike right?
Inevitably the police were called and we had a pretty outstanding chase and shoot out on the green of hole 6. While watching the death animation it bugged me that for some reason media coverage isn’t included in this game. You would think once a chase/killing spree lasted long enough news vans and helicopters would start coming to scene of the crime… Oh well, maybe GTA6.
Woke up at the hospital, stabbed the first person I saw … with a crowbar. Stole a car and proceeded to drive aimlessly on the sidewalk.
What was I doing again?
I recently read this article by Charles Salmon (@BeardsandPixels) which made me think.
Are modern games easier or simply designed better?
Returning to Super Metroid recently, Charles found the experience too obtuse. He wonders, were games really this difficult before, or have we just grown soft? Looking at the variety of games available today, he’s come to a conclusion that may just surprise you.

This article poses a very good question unfortunately the author dwells too long on Metroid to look for answers. Metroid is a bad example of difficulty. Not to say Metroid isn’t hard, but if Metroid was just a Mario-Style plat former; it would actually be pretty easy to beat. The “difficulty” in Metroid cames from overwhelming the player with a massive world with no mapping system with tons of unmarked secrets the player was required to find before proceeding.
There is no doubt that this is terrible design. A modern game wouldn’t do this to you because players have come to expect maps, clues, and usually outright instructions for solving puzzles or navigating the game world. That isn’t difficulty, only fake longevity.
There is something to be said for puzzles, and I guess you could say Metriod has hard puzzles. If you consider shooting every possible block in the game trying to find the one that is fake a puzzle. I don’t consider that difficulty, at least not in the way it is usually measured when comparing old and new games. Better game design has removed much of the fake difficulty. Situations in which the player is expected to do something totally random and unprecedented to continue the game have (should have?) been fixed. The games usually have built-in mechanisms like foreshadowing, clues, or NPCs to explain what to do.
The best way I can explain it is how people currently think of “beating” a game. The conversation today goes like this:
“Did you beat X yet?”
Instead of:
“Have you ever beaten X?”


Beating games has changed from a matter of skill into a matter of time. Ninja Gaiden (NES) and Ghouls and Ghosts (NES) have a high level of difficulty because no amount of instructions or walkthroughs can help you beat them. You just need to become amazingly good at avoiding projectiles and enemies. Many people won’t have the “moxie” to complete these games and it isn’t because they don’t’ know what to do (watch me try). You aren’t “stuck” not knowing what to do. The path is clear, you just need to do it. It usually took about 300 tries. So why has the dynamic changed?
I attribute the change to game saves. You rarely see a true “Game Over” screen anymore. Generally when you die or lose you just start over at the same section of the game. This is what gives games inevitability, if you play the same section over and over you will eventually beat it. This is essentially how old games worked, except in those games if you died enough times you started the whole game over again.
It was not fun to start the whole game over; I am thankful for saves. I don’t have the time to play Halo over from the start every time I turn on my Xbox. I like to know I have made progress every time I beat a level and that progress is mine to keep. Obviously games are much longer now so this is necessary. Most NES games can be beaten in less than 30 minutes if you just go all the way through. You would be lucky to complete most modern games, even the short ones, in less than 8 hours in one shot.
A friend of mine always jokes that people complain so often about how easy Mass Effect is, even on Insanity difficulty. He tells those people to start a new game every time they die. Then come back and complain how easy the game is.
We all know the appeal, or at least the concession, of a vegetable sandwich. It is as simple as ordering what you always, except without the meat. Sometimes Subway offers avocado to add to the sandwich for the extra … heft? Don’t get me wrong, I have eaten my fair share of veggie sandwiches with Jalapeños and extra mayo from subway but I am going to be honest. A sandwich without meat always leaves me wanting.

I say top-secret because it doesn’t appear anywhere on the menu in the store. You would think right under the Veggie Delight they would have a little asterisk that says “Try our delicious veggie patty.” There is no such asterisk. I spent a fair amount of time trying to find this item on Subway’s online menu, and although I did find it (along with a very impressive variety of vegetarian protein options) on the Indian Subway website it doesn’t seem to appear on the US side. Maybe it is a new item still in testing?
I hope not because the patty was excellent.
The patty is in the shape of a rounded rectangle, and seems to be made specifically for 6″ subway sandwiches. It tastes very much like the Morning Star patty found at Burger King but I can’t be sure if it actually is a Morning Star brand because it seemingly has no documentation. From my personal impression it is a patty made of compressed vegetables rather than a soy compound. There probably are beans involved but it is certainly not a “bean patty.” I am not sure if it is vegan friendly, you could try asking … if the workers even know they have it.
If you have a SubWay near you, ask them if they have veggie patties in stock. The addition of a hot and chewy patty really completes the sandwich experience. Just for fun, take a look at what the 400 Subways in India serve!


