I was playing Mass Effect 2 for like the 20th time when it finally dawned on me how silly the Purgatory (recruit Jack) mission is. Here is a summery in case you don’t remember:

You go to the Blue Sun owned prison ship, Purgatory, to acquire Jack. Cerberus paid for Jack’s release and you arrive to pick her up and on the way to the processing station the prison locks down. Turns out Warden Kuril is pulling the old “double-cross.” He decided Shepard is worth more as a prisoner. Then you proceed to fight your way out freeing Jack and getting off the prison. Not only thwarting Warden Kuril’s plan, but killing him during the escape.

Let’s break this down from Kuril’s point of view:

Kuril took a large payment from the Illusive Man to hand Jack over to Shepard. He decided it would be more profitable to kidnap commander Shepard … and then what? How exactly do you profit from having Shepard? I SUPPOSE he wants to sell him to the highest bidder? Who is that, the Collectors? Ok I guess that kinda makes sense although since the Collectors have a history of attacking human colonies and just making them outright disappear, it seems like a pretty risky deal.

Here are three more problems.

1. Kuril’s foolish confidence that his inept guards can handle a fully armed Shepard and his crew (Grunt and Garrus in most cases). Maybe Kuril hasn’t read the news for a while: Shepard is a bit of a badass… Shepard defeated Matriarch Benezia and a squad of Asari commandos. He defeated the Turian Specter Saren. Shepard eats battalions of Geth for breakfast. I guess Kuril didn’t really buy all of that…

2. The Normandy is currently right outside, in full radio contact with Shepard, and fully aware of what he is doing. Even if the prison has some kind of radio jammer, what do you suppose the crew of the Normandy will do when Shepard doesn’t come back after 2 hours? Just leave? The Normandy is fully armed and full of the most badass mercs in the galaxy that are all waiting for Shepard to come back. EDI is probably already hacked into the prison comm system and knows everything that is going on. Best case scenario, Thane, Jacob, Miranda, and Zaeed launch a little rescue party and murder everyone. Worst case scenario Joker blasts a hole in the station. Either way Kuril isn’t going anywhere with Shepard.

3. Betraying the Illusive man sounds really smart. Cerberus doesn’t have an longstanding reputation of murder, torture and medical experimentation or anything.

The Purgatory is a slow, clunky, lightly armed prison ship. Even if this kidnap attempt it successful and he somehow gets Shepard into a cell. How is he going to deal with the Normandy, the Alliance and Cerberus which will all show up within 24 hours? Warden Kuril has no outs! This plan is VERY POORLY THOUGHT OUT.

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