Mass Effect Sci-fi-ku

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Waiting for Mass Effect 3 has really been putting a strain on my sanity. I have been pretty much grinding full time to get all my ME2 characters in a row and ready for import. Anytime I am not playing Mass Effect I am thinking about it. These haiku are the result of me trying to be productive and failing.

Shepard at the club /     the galaxy's worst dancer / stick to shooting guns #haiku

Shepard at the club
the galaxy’s worst dancer
stick to shooting guns
Reapers stand no chance / wrath of this female earthling / her time of the month #haiku

Reapers stand no chance
wrath of this female Earthling
her time of the month
all sides surrounded / both squad mates casualties / nothing charge can't fix #haiku

all sides surrounded
both squad mates casualties
nothing charge can’t fix
tough-guy Turian / one come-on line from Femshep / a highschool junior #haiku

tough-guy Turian
one come-on line from Femshep
a highschool junior
face covered in blood / overcome by happiness / —only a baby #haiku

face covered in blood
overcome by happiness
—only a baby
rude and offensive / so vulnerable inside / —but nobody cares #haiku

rude and offensive
so vulnerable inside
—but nobody cares
soft-spoken fellow / fighting for the galaxy / ... crew needed color #haiku

soft-spoken fellow
fighting for the galaxy
… crew needed color
always cracking jokes— / self-defense mechanism / receding hairline #haiku

always cracking jokes—
self-defense mechanism
receding hairline
dresses like a thief / wonders why she can't come in / a sense of humor? #haiku

dresses like a thief
wonders why she can’t come in
a sense of humor?
Geth infiltrator / totally oblivious / his hilarity #haiku

Geth infiltrator
totally oblivious
his hilarity
young and innocent— / but now, hard-boiled and ruthless / schizophrenia #haiku

young and innocent—
but now, hard-boiled and ruthless
schizophrenia
super genius / engineered perfection / please remove your clothes #haiku

super genius
engineered perfection
please remove your clothes
courageous doctor / buried in his distant past / —an atrocity #haiku

courageous doctor
buried in his distant past
—an atrocity
deadly orgasm / Ardat-Yakshi maneuver / —quite literally

deadly orgasm
Ardat-Yakshi maneuver
—quite literally
the Justicar code / highest Asari concept / on-off like a switch #haiku

the Justicar code
highest Asari concept
on-off like a switch
fans demand her face / just to be dissapointed? / stick to fantasy #haiku

fans demand her face
just to be dissapointed?
stick to fantasy
headshot prodigy / I brought shredder ammo / keep it to yourself #haiku

headshot prodigy
“I brought shredder ammo”
keep it to yourself
skilled mercenary / cheated death dozens of times / inferno grenade #haiku

skilled mercenary
cheated death dozens of times
inferno grenade
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