Mass Effect Sci-fi-ku

Waiting for Mass Effect 3 has really been putting a strain on my sanity. I have been pretty much grinding full time to get all my ME2 characters in a row and ready for import. Anytime I am not playing Mass Effect I am thinking about it. These haiku are the result of me trying to be productive and failing.

Shepard at the club
the galaxy’s worst dancer
stick to shooting guns

Reapers stand no chance
wrath of this female Earthling
her time of the month

all sides surrounded
both squad mates casualties
nothing charge can’t fix

tough-guy Turian
one come-on line from Femshep
a highschool junior

face covered in blood
overcome by happiness
—only a baby

rude and offensive
so vulnerable inside
—but nobody cares

soft-spoken fellow
fighting for the galaxy
… crew needed color

always cracking jokes—
self-defense mechanism
receding hairline

dresses like a thief
wonders why she can’t come in
a sense of humor?

Geth infiltrator
totally oblivious
his hilarity

young and innocent—
but now, hard-boiled and ruthless
schizophrenia

super genius
engineered perfection
please remove your clothes

courageous doctor
buried in his distant past
—an atrocity

deadly orgasm
Ardat-Yakshi maneuver
—quite literally

the Justicar code
highest Asari concept
on-off like a switch

fans demand her face
just to be dissapointed?
stick to fantasy

headshot prodigy
“I brought shredder ammo”
keep it to yourself

skilled mercenary
cheated death dozens of times
inferno grenade