There are just so many Nintendo games out there, who has time to play them all? Apparently I do; all of them, 5 min per game. After my playing I will give each game a rating of 0 or 1. Sometimes I will have guests drop by and help.

NES A to Z vol 30

  • Contra - 1/1

    Contra is the Nintendo classic. This is probably the single best co-op shooter ever made before the Xbox era. It just got so much right! The control is dead on, the music is awesome, the two-player is mostly excellent (except when your partner rushes the screen and you get raped from behind). Easy win.

  • Contra Force - 0/1

    This game is so strange. It says Contra on the box but it feels nothing like Contra. One question: What went wrong? It’s jerky, the flicker is terrible, the graphics look nothing like Contra. Just not very good overall.

  • Cool World - 0/1

    What is this game? I’ve seen the movie and skateboarding is NOT a very large part of it. Why am I on Sweet Street being attacked by endless cops and rabbits throwing ice cream cones? None of the answers to those questions matter, because the game sucks.

  • Corvette ZR-1 - 1/1

    It’s two-player so that is a huge plus. You need to manually change gears which adds considerable gameplay to a generally simplistic concept. There is also some kind of fuel mechanic which I didn’t figure out. I assume there is a way to conserve fuel and actually finish a race? If that is the case, this game is fun.

  • Cowboy Kid - 1/1

    The graphics are pretty goofy, but it looks like a solid two-player adventure game. You go around stabbing people in the face with a knife, taking their money and using it to probably buy power ups. What more can you ask for from a NES game? How about great box art? This game delivers.

/1 Comment/by

NES A to Z vol 29

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJnxNo3Snrg]

  • Color a Dinosaur - 1/1

    It’s difficult to call this a game, but it’s also hard to give it a bad score. The game certainly delivers exactly what it promises. You get to color a dinosaur, and the interface is about as good as Nintendo will allow.

  • Commando - 1/1

    Very disappointing 2-player mode. Who even came up with this whole “taking turns” idea when a game obviously begs for cooperative play? other than that I don’t have many complaints. it’s a solid top-down shooter, very … “Contra” but a little different.

  • Conan - 0/1

    What a disappointment! I come looking for a badass action fantasy and instead I get a half-assed Prince of Persia clone. Down makes you jump. What more do I need to say? Ok, i’ll add some more just for fun. The gameplay is trash, the graphics are bad and the hero is meek.

  • Conflict - 0/1

    I am generally fond of turn based strategy games. I mean, I love Chess, Civilization, Final Fantasy Tactics… The problem is the interface. If it’s bad, the whole game is bad. I don’t doubt that Conflict has deep strategic gameplay, but I can’t imagine sitting through enough of this game to find it.

  • Conquest of the Crystal Palace - 1/1

    How badly did this game wish it was called Conquest of the Crystal CASTLE? Why would you blow a chance for such magnificent alliteration? That one mistake aside, I loved this game! It played like a very capable action platformer and it foreshadowed a money/store system. I enjoyed it so much I even went back and played it a little more after the video.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 28

  • Cliffhanger - 0/1

    love this movie! I pretty much love any Stallone movie, let’s be honest. I even had high hopes for this game. But in the typical style of movie-licensed games, this is a huge let down. The controls are SO BAD and slow. Imagine the leggiest game you have ever played online, with a full on 1-second delay to all of your inputs. That is how good this game controls. The nasty graphics don’t help.

  • Clu Clu Land - 1/1

    This game sure does smell like an arcade port, but I was wrong. This game is NOT actually an arcade game, just a Nintendo game. It draws plenty of inspiration for Pacman. The main difference being, they took the excellent and responsive controls from Pacman and replaced them with really complex and unintuitive controls instead. If you get used to them, this game is actually pretty decent.

  • Cobra Command - 0/1

    I have one question, why is the sky green? It is symbolic of the toll this war is taking on the landscape? The sky is green with sickness watching all of the pain and devastation. Not a bad narrative device. Problem is the game isn’t any fun.

  • Cobra Triangle - 1/1

    One of the stranger games I have ever played. You play as some kind of war boat with a propeller on it. Each level has totally different goals. Sometimes you are participating in a race with other boats, other times you are fighting a dragon. The game is full of surprises and he decent controls.

  • Code Name Viper - 1/1

    This game reminds me very much of the arcade game Rolling Thunder. It is a side-scrolling shooter similar to contra, but much more tactical. You are very limited in ammo, and need to take care not to waste bullets. The levels are build with two elevations, ground level and balconies and you jump up can jump up or down at will. I really enjoyed this game and I am sorry I never heard of it in my childhood.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 27

I have new thumbnail art on my youtube video! Also I have some new ideas for my next video so stay tuned. ENJOY!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E05wzna85Gg]

  • Chubby Cherub - 0/1

    In this side scrolling shooter/platformer hybrid you control an adorable flying naked child on his quest to eat everything in sight. Sounds like a great life. Problem is people start putting out all of these mean guard dogs to stop you! The game is not BAD… It has music, the controls are fine, the graphics are okay… It is just so boring.

  • Circus Caper - 0/1

    It seems like a platformer, but it plays like a bathtub. The controls are so sluggish and unresponsive, the characters acts like he is perpetually in the ice level of Mario 3. I give them props for the whole animated intro store, that is a good touch. It got off to a good start but then turned to shit.

  • City Connection - 1/1

    I expected this to be terrible but I was surprised! It is a unique take on a Pac-Man mechanic. You drive a race car on 4-level highway avoiding police cars and stray cats. The goal is to drive over every piece of black road and turn it white. Cool music, and interesting gameplay.

  • Clash at Demonhead - 1/1

    This game is awesome! It’s like a mix of Megaman, Metroid on a Mario 3 over world map. Clash at Demonhead seems to have a developed store and RPG elements too! Although those are only speculations. The controls are tight and responsive and the music is good so this game is an easy winner. I would even call this a hidden gem.

  • Concentration - 0/1

    Concentration is not really the kind of game anyone plays for fun. It’s a great tool to help children learn about permanence and maybe to develop memory but as a game? I’d rather play Tic Tac Toe. Actually I probably will play that eventually and I am sure that will get a 0 also. I guess… as a drinking game this would be decent.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 26

Here is the thing, I forgot to empty my computer’s trash for about … a year or so. I found out after recording this video that my hard drive only had 4MB left. I think that is the reason the video is choppy toward the end. Luckily the audio is totally fine. I have since emptied my trash and everything should be fine going forward. The show much go on!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9sQtrTPgpE]

  • Chess Master - 1/1

    It’s chess. The controls are tight and reliable. The options seem to go on for days. The tricky part is the game start right into a chess game and the CPU at the start doesn’t seem to have any idea how to play chess. I guess you need to crank it up a bit.

  • Chiller - 0/1

    I guess this is a light gun game, but it just isn’t very fun. I googled it after the playing and the images of what the later levels look like are pretty disturbing… Wtf?
    chiller

  • Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers - 1/1

    Solid platformed based on a beloved cartoon show! Who doesn’t love chipmunks?

  • Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers II - 1/1

    More of the same, just as good.

  • Christ Evert & Ivan Lendl Tennis - 1/1

    Totally adequate tennis game. Also, confirmed it is Lendl and not Lendi.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 25

  • Caveman Games - 0/1

    I had high hopes for this because of the unique idea. Unfortunately it suffers from some of the worst controls I have ever come across in a video game. I would say it’s pretty much unplayable unless you commit considerable time to getting “the feel” down … But even after that, will it ever be fun?

  • Challenge of Dragon - 1/1

    Never seen this game before but it is actually pretty cool. The whole game feels like it is on very slippery ice, but other than that the controls are decent. You character has a sword, and jump kicks like a boss. Hitting enemies feels good. Like I said, it’s NOTHING compared to Castlevania, but it’s not horrible.

  • Championship Bowling - 1/1

    It’s bowling.

  • Champtionship Pool - 0/1

    It’s worse pool than the last bad pool game.

  • Cheetahmen II - 0/1

    How did someone make this pile of trash and feel good about it? The controls and graphics aren’t even an improvement over the first Cheetahmen when it took up 1/52nd of a cart. This is what they do with an entire cart? The music is good, I’ll give them that.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 24

  • Castle of Dragon - 1/1

    Strange title. The game itself plays like the most boring side-scrolling platformer ever created. There doesn’t seem to even be any platforming, you just walk to the right and trade blows with enemies. It reminds me a lot of Kung Fu in play style, except you can’t seem to do anything to prevent yourself from taking damage… Nothing particularly horrible about the game though, it is very playable.

  • Castlequest - 0/1

    Pretty typical puzzle dungeon game. Not sure what else to say… Seemed like a very boring journey.

  • Castlevania - 1/1

    One of the best platformers ever created! This game spawned a massive franchise that will span dozens of consoles and handhelds. Keeping it to the point: awesome music, awesome controls, awesome setting. I pretty much don’t know anyone who didn’t own this game back in the NES days.

  • Castlevania II - 1/1

    The odd-duck of the Castlevania series, this game often gets a bad rap. However it maintains the same music, controls and setting from the original game. The only “mistake” the developers made is innovate a little bit too much by adding towns, a day/night mechanic, and puzzle elements. If done differently, I imagine this game could have been the BEST Castlevania… Unfortunately some bad choices were made, but none of those are evident in the first 5 minutes of gameplay so this game sneaks out with a 1/1.

  • Castlevania III - 1/1

    What happens when you take Castlevania and add three more badass characters? You get Castlevania III. It’s a shame you don’t get to see anything remarkable in the first 5 minutes, but the game offers a ton of variety! You have branching paths which lead to additional characters joining your party. You get a thief that can crawl up walls and hand upside down, a wizard that can collect epic spells, and Alucard himself who fires projectiles as his basic attack and turns into a bat. Pretty much the original X-Men.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 23

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHcI4RLlQFA?rel=0]

Shane and I up to our old tricks: playing video games. Usually we linger in the SNES and MAME library, but I dragged him down into the bowels of NES for a few sessions.

  • Captain Skyhawk - 1/1

    I totally had this confused with Top Gun. The game is decent shoot em up game, except you pilot what can best be described as a water balloon. The controls are very sluggish to say the least. However I think you can get used to them and then I bet this game is very fun.

  • Casino Kid - 1/1

    For a casino game I think this does well. There appears to be some over world which I obviously didn’t explore, but it looked nice. The blackjack simulator was excellent and of course the Martingale system wins again.

  • Casino Kid 2 - 1/1

    I really half-assed the Martingale on this game because I was too busy messing around. This game seems very similar to the last one, but with the drama cranked up to eleven.

  • Castelion - 0/1

    The idea is awesome. A side-scolling platformer going up and around a tower? Love it. I loved it in Ghosts and Goblins, and I loved it in Battletoads. Where those games succeeded, this game fails. Starting with the malicious “fake” block three steps from your initial spawn point, this game does nothing but antagonize.

  • Castle of Deceit - 1/1

    The box art is very misleading, and the game is remarkably mediocre. It has some promise however. You move to the right, and to the left. The controls are decent. The second level looks very different from the first. The boss fight was top down view so there is plenty of variety. I give it a pass. But like Shane said, if you got this for Christmas and your friend got Castlevania… I understand why you are depressed.

/0 Comments/by

NES A to Z vol 22

First let me say I am very sorry the NES games have no sound. I messed with some setting mid recording and I must have messed up something and the machine audio did not record. It’s very frustrating, specifically in this episode because we pay special attention to the music of Captain Comic… Wont happen again, or your money back!

  • Caltron 6 in 1 - 1/1

    I am still reeling from the pain of playing Action 52 so I certainly didn’t have high hopes for another one of these silly “in 1” carts. What a pleasant surprise! I played two of the games. One was a joust, or balloon fight clone which played fine. The other was a side scrolling shooter and it also looked and played fine. Great variety!

  • Capcom’s Gold Medal Challenge 92 - 0/1

    The graphics are cute. Forgot to add fun though.

  • Captain America and the Avengers - 1/1

    I have seen this game reviews by AVGN and Pat the Punk and I remember them both being pretty negative. Most of the negativity seems to be when you actually try to beat the game. Lot’s of backtracking and annoying deaths etc. For the short time we played it, it seems totally great. You only get to play as two of the four avengers though so the title and box art are pretty misleading.

  • Captain Comic: The Adventure - 1/1

    Solid platformer with excellent music. Sorry you can’t hear it! Not much to say, it speaks for itself.

  • Captain Planet and the Planeteers - 0/1

    This game has been the biggest let down of my entire quest so far. I have only fond memories of the Captain Planet cartoon. This game is a half-assed side scrolling shooter! WHAT?!!?!? I mean I vaguely remember the planenteers in some kind of airplane, but how could you make that the first level? How could you not introduce ANY characters? Horrible game.

/1 Comment/by

NES A to Z vol 21

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDRH07Gl-2Q]

  • Burai Fighter - 1/1

    Inventive shooter! You play a little astronaut with a rifle, you can shoot in 8 directions with the ability to lock your bullet trajectory. There are at least three power ups. Unfortunately I was unable to beat the first level. If I had this game as a kid, I can imagine taking it very seriously.

  • Burger Time - 1/1

    Pretty sure this is a classic arcade game and this NES port feels like a solid port. The gameplay is intense and original, and the game is hard as nails. The only issue I have with NES arcade ports is they don’t save your high score after a shut down. What is the point of playing arcade games if you can’t get a score up there?

  • Cabal - 0/1

    I appreciate what the game is trying to do, but the control is impossible! Even after 5 minutes of playing I am still not sure how I throw a grenade. Walking and aiming are controlled by the same input, so if you want to shoot left, you have to walk left. So what happens is you get chased to the left side of the screen by a barrage of bullets, pinned there, totally unable to kill the enemies because if you try to aim at them you run right into their fire! It’s a fail.

  • Caesar’s Palace - 0/1

    Ask yourself “How do you fuck up a casino game?” Well, you create a horrible interface for managing bets and totally remove all of the fun. Consider playing a different casino game. Hopefully the upcoming Casino Kid series will be better.

  • California Games - 0/1

    I remember hating this game as a child. The game is full of 6 mini games, at least two of which are horrible. Judging from my tingling spider sense, I am willing to bet they are all horrible.

/0 Comments/by