There are just so many Nintendo games out there, who has time to play them all? Apparently I do; all of them, 5 min per game. After my playing I will give each game a rating of 0 or 1. Sometimes I will have guests drop by and help.

NES A to Z vol 20

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zc92bl5IKEM]

  • Bubble Bobble 2 - 0/1

    Some brilliant person at Taito decided that the best thing about Bubble Bobble, two-player mode, wasn’t actually very important to the game’s success. So they went ahead and REMOVED IT. The game has better graphics, better music, and probably better gameplay but no one will ever know because as soon as everyone realizes it’s not co-op they turn it off and put in Bubble Bobble 1. You know what frustrates me the most? Imagining myself as a child, who loves to play Bubble Bobble with his friends, saving up all summer to finally buy the seemingly better sequel. Then I invite my friends over to play it only to realize… Fuck you Taito.

  • Bucky O’Hare - 0/1

    This game has a cult following. Most reviews I have seen call this game good. I am sorry but I can’t agree. There is just so much cheapness in how you die, it’s bullshit.

  • Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout - 1/1

    It’s just another platformer, worse than most others I have played. There is nothing really horrible about it though so I guess it can have a one. If you are a diehard Bugs fan I guess.

  • Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle - 1/1

    Another mediocre Bug Bunny offering. This time it has more of a puzzle feel. Puzzle gameplay is something I never got into in my childhood. I can appreciate a bit more now.

  • Bump’n’Jump - 0/1

    It’s a racing game that has some pretty cute ideas. You jump over gaps and bump other cars into the side of the road. It’s fine, but they forgot to put fun into it.

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NES A to Z vol 19

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO49Wbwkau0]

  • Bram Stoker’s Dracula - 1/1

    It’s a decent platformer with really good animations. The backgrounds could use a bit of interest but I suppose they are going for a creepy nightmare vibe so the drab color scheme makes sense. The first boss was challenging, but didn’t feel unfair. If that trend continues through the whole game this might be a keeper.

  • Break Time: The National Pool Tour - 1/1

    Obviously by todays standards this is a complete yawn festival. But in the Nintendo days, this game would be a pleasure to have. You and your buddies could challenge each other to a game of virtual pool, and as a simulation this is passable.

  • BreakThru - 0/1

    You drive some kind of war tank through a really dangerous road. You have the power to accelerate, break, jump, and fire a cannon. The game showed promise but then midway not the first level I ran into a seemingly impassable barrier. It was a big pile of rubble that killed me if I touched it. I tried to shoot it, jump over it, drive around it. Always death.

  • Bubble Bath Babes - 1/1

    This is one of the rare unlicensed games, sometimes called a “porn game” although it’s pretty far from pornographic. It does have a topless woman at the bottom of the screen washing herself, nipples exposed … Oh sorry, there is gameplay also. Best described as a tetris-style puzzle game, colored bubbled float upward and you need to match the colors to make them pop … or something. Look at the nipples.

  • Bubble Bobble - 1/1

    Me and my friends played the hell out of this when I was a kid. It was an all-night extravaganza during sleep overs. I remember getting to the last boss often with only a handful of extra lives left. The pressure was on, and we rarely won.

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NES A to Z vol 18

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp93yd9IwT0]

  • Bo Jackson Baseball - 0/1

    Sigh… As far as baseball games go I guess there isn’t anything BAD about it. Except for batting felt terrible. Pitching was actually fun. Anyway, baseball sucks, baseball simulators suck more.

  • Bomberman - 0/1

    I am surprised at how HORRIBLE this game is. Bomberman has really come a long way. I am glad they stuck with it because it actually became an awesome series (at least the N64 games rocked). This game though… Ugly, boring, slow.

  • Bomberman II - 1/1

    The improvement from the first to the second is exceptional. Even though it has the same irritating gameplay I commend them for showing such improvement!

  • Bonk’s Adventure - 1/1

    The controls, although responsive, are super awkward. The way he moves when he “head dives” is just weird, and the way spamming the dive button makes you stop diving and spinning… Wtf? However, like all things, you can get used to it and the game has a following. I bet it’s pretty good if you give it a good 30 min.

  • Boulder Dash - 1/1

    Boring puzzle gameplay, but how can I complain? When this game came out in 198X or whatever it was probably pretty original and maybe even fun. The controls are tight, the graphics are pleasant, how can I give it a 0?

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NES A to Z vol 17

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  • Blades of Steel - 1/1

    This Konami published hockey game was super popular among the young Minnesotans of my childhood. I was never big into hockey, but my friends sure were and they played it all the time. Pretty sure the fist fighting is the best part of the game. When two players get into a tussle you actually enter a 1v1 battle mode to determine who wins the puck.

  • Blaster Master - 1/1

    I actually owned this game and I attempted to beat it often but I never could. I think I always got stuck on level 4 and ran out of lives. The game has no save or password system so you need to beat it in one sitting, which is pretty insane. I am pretty sure getting to level 4 and losing took me at least 3 hours in my childhood. Anyway, the game is fun and the music rocks. It’s a classic.

  • The Blue Marlin - 0/1

    It’s stupid of me to ask why they make fishing simulation games. There is probably a game for everything and it’s hard for me to say there shouldn’t be. That being said, this game sucks.

  • Blue Shadow - 1/1

    If you watched my video first, I was SURE I played this game before. That is because Blue Shadow is the European version of Yami no Shigotonin Kage, which in American was translated to Shadow of the Ninja. So there you go. Same game, three domains, three different names. That being said, this game is fun and awesome. I will be surprised if I find a ninja game I don’t like on NES.

  • The Blues Brothers - 0/1

    The graphics looks nice but the game didn’t deliver. I got stuck early in the first level not having any idea what to do. I tried to go all the way to the right and then all the way to the left. Both didn’t provide a way to proceed. I suppose if I knew what to do this might be a fun game, but I have a hard time this would compare favorably to other classic platformers.

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NES A to Z vol 16

  • Bill and Ted’s Excellent Video Game Adventure - 1/1

    Originally I gave it a 0 because of the totally convoluted gameplay. They give you a phonebook, but all of the phone numbers except one are busy… How are you supposed to know!? Maybe the excessively long cutscene explained? Why not just have a level 1 and call it a day? Anyway, once I got beyond that, the gameplay seemed fine and it had good music. Also, I love Keanu.

  • Bill Elliot’s NASCAR - 0/1

    So boring… I might argue this is even more boring that Pole Position.

  • Bionic Commando - 1/1

    Plenty of unique and badass platforming action to be had. This game is amazing. Awesome music, level selection, tons of guns, metal grappling arm, it has it all! I could beat this game on call as a child. Add it to the pile of Capcom classics boys.

  • Black Bass - 0/1

    This terrible fishing simulator does little to seek the true fishing experience. Might as well be called boredom simulator. Actually, I take that back, the boredom is far from a simulation. Boredom inducer maybe.

  • Blackjack - 1/1

    Not much not to like. The game deals you blackjack hands, and does all of them math and shuffling for you. You can even play with two players, which would actually make this a pretty decent drinking game. I am happy to see my “double the bet after a loss” methodology succeed.

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NES A to Z vol 15

My lovely wife-to-be joins in, just in time for Bible Adventures!

Bible Adventures – 1/1

I have seen many people review this game including Angry Nerd and Pat the Punk. The game seems to get a bad rap, known as a classic bad game. Well it certainly isn’t a good game, but there is nothing too horrible about it. Dare I even say … an innovative platformer?

Bible Buffet – 0/1

First let me just say the game itself doesn’t seem to have ANYTHING “Bible” about it. It’s just some boring board game and I assume the questions sections require you to answer Bible-related questions. I don’t know for sure because I don’t have whatever book they refer to. Unfortunately, even if I had that book this game wouldn’t be fun.

Big Nose Freaks Out – 1/1

I think this is the sequel to Big Nose the Caveman? For some unknown reason in this game you are a caveman riding a skateboard. The good news is, it’s fun!

Big Nose the Caveman – 1/1

It’s a platformer. It isn’t terrible.

Bigfoot – 0/1

It’s a multiplayer monster truck racing game with multiple game modes. I gave it a 0 because it was too hard to figure out. However I think if I spent more than 5 minutes playing it, and figured out the controls, I would probably enjoy it.

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NES A to Z vol 14

Battletoads Double Dragon – 1/1

It has all the co-op fun of both Battletoads AND Double Dragon but in one single game. If you think about it, the mixture is pretty confusing. The Double Dragon dudes come from a gritty, realistic world of street crime. The Battletoads come from some kind of weird sci-fi fantasy world were frogs and pigs do battle… Why together? Whatever, the game rocks.

BB Car – 1/1

It’s a simple game, looks like an old arcade port. The premix is pretty neat though. You control a little race car, and your goal is to collect all the flags on the course without crashing into any of the crazy enemy cars. Your car has the ability to poop out little obstacles which temporarily disable enemy cars. The graphics and sound is pretty meh, but the gameplay is solid.

Beauty and the Beast – 0/1

The controls are the big issue here. They are horrible. It feels like there is a 2 second delay after every button press. You Hudson Soft makes a ton of very shitty games. I am going to put them on my radar and keep track. I will admit though, the part in the game when I had to stick close to the candle man so I could see was pretty clever. Couldn’t save the game though.

Bee 52 – 0/1

I guess the rom is glitches… What can I say. Chances are it’s bad.

Beetlejuice – 0/1

A commentor told me I shouldn’t judge games poorly JUST because they are LJN titles. I would argue that I have not! I gave Back to the Future a 1/1 despite that game being almost universally hated. I will play every game for five minutes and be as fair as possible. Being fair… Beetlejuice is a piece of shit.

Best of the Best – 0/1

The concept rocks, but the controls! They are even worse than Beauty and the Beast! Maybe this is the kind of game you need a manual for? I don’t know. I tried my best to figure it out, and just when I thought I was on to something it turns out I wasn’t. I pretty much mashed random buttons for 5 minutes and didn’t have a good time doing it.

 

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NES A to Z vol 13

My friends are still here to tackle a few more games! Even Emily get’s in on the action even though she can’t seem to get into frame 🙁

Batman Return of the Joker – 0/1

Looking back at this game, it actually doesn’t look very bad. I mean it’s a decent action platformer with Batman in it. There are plenty of power ups and the controls aren’t even bad. Well… you can watch the gameplay and judge for yourself. Maybe some nostalgia colored glasses are needed?

Batman – 1/1

Loved this game back when I owned it on NES and I still love it now. Wall jumping has never felt more badass. I also love how you just punch the shit to of dudes with your fists. The music is also some of the best.

Battle Chess – 0/1

I remember having a blast playing this game on my Mac back in the day. The Mac/PC version was MUCH better than this… The concept of this game is actually pretty good. It livens up the standard game of chess with cool and varied animations and gives it a cool phantasy feel. Problem is on NES the absurd slowness of the gameplay ruins any fun or entertainment.

Battle of Olympus – 1/1

It’s a fun action RPG. It plays and feels like Legend of Zelda, and doesn’t have any glaring flaws. I read an in depth review of the game in the first issue of Retro magazine and it actually looks like a great game. I would have been happy to own it in my childhood.

Battleship – 1/1

I fully expected this to be even worse than Battle Chess. Turns out they didn’t only make a fast paced version of Battleship but they even added some innovation in the form of different missile types that target different patters on the grid. Decent.

Battletoads – 1/1

What a classic! Everyone knows this is getting a 1/1 the game is iconic. The game has 2-player co-op, which automatically puts it way ahead of the pack. The gameplay is fun and varied, the music rocks, and the game is hard as nails! Pure classic.

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NES A to Z vol 12

The Bard’s Tale – 0/1

Some forgettable RPG that has a very clunky control scheme and probably requires a manual. These NES RPGs do not age well. If you need role-playing fix, why would you ever play this?

Barker Bill’s Trick Shooting – 0/1

Requires light gun. Might be a good game but I will never know.

Baseball Simulator 1.000 – 1/1

Baseball Stars – 1/1

Baseball Stars II – 1/1

Bases Loaded 4 – 0/1

What can I say… As far as baseball games go, these are pretty fun. I hate baseball, but I do enjoy the competitive nature of playing with your friends. Bases Loaded 4 is the worst of the bunch, but as long as it’s 2 player it can’t be that bad.

Batman Returns – 0/1

This is like a reverse port of Batman Returns on SNES and I bet you can imagine how that goes. It’s just okay as an SNES game but it’s very boring on NES.

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NES A to Z vol 11

It might look like I reviewed 7 games this session but I ran into a Nintendo Power Glove only game and was forced to give it a 0. I also gave a 0 to the golf game without playing it. Sorry golf fans! Bonus, fresh sound effects and a phone call interruption!

Back to the Future II & III – 0/1

It is a terrible platformer with bad controls and worse music. The enemies don’t have anything to do with the movie. They are robots, birds and colored balls. I once saw a human being that threw things at me and that was about as close to the movie as it got.

Bad Dudes – 1/1

This game has a reputation of being pretty terrible but I don’t agree. I had this game as a kid and it was awesome! Karnov is in it, you fight ninjas, you are a bad dude, what more can you ask for? The controls are good, you have a ton of cool moves including a charge-up hadoken punch and you fight a huge variety of enemies. Bonus for awesome music.

Bad News Baseball – 1/1

You have probably noticed that I am very hesitant to even play sports games because they are mostly SO BAD. The problem with that plan is I may miss awesome games like this! I hate baseball and I had a great time with this. The gameplay is simply enough to understand quickly, pitching and batting are both fun. This might be the best baseball simulator I have ever played. If I had this as a kid… I might be a Twins fan today.

Bad Street Brawler – 0/1

Power Glove required? Nice try Nintendo.

Balloon Fight – 1/1

It is a slightly modified remake of the arcade classic Joust. I love Joust and I love Balloon Fight. The gameplay is fun and has a high skill cap. I only played one mode but there is also a two player mode, and another mode called Balloon Trip in which you need to collect balloons while avoiding sparks. A+

Bandai Golf: Challenge Pebble Beach – 0/1

Yeah I didn’t even play it. I just “felt” that it was going to be terrible and spared myself.

Barbie – 0/1

There are worse games on NES for sure. I was torn about how to rate this game. On one hand, it is playable . On the other hand it has terrible control sound. Compared to any decent platformer it is terrible, although both of the “bosses” I faced did seem pretty inventive. In the end … I simply cannot recommend this game.

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