Whitney Houston gets more attention than US troops in Iraq

This is a guest post by my long-time friend Yury Suponitsky. He drops a logic bomb on people who are complaining that Whitney Houston’s death is getting more media coverage than fallen soldiers in Iraq. ~Alex

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Waiting for Mass Effect 3 has really been putting a strain on my sanity. I have been pretty much grinding full time to get all my ME2 characters in a row and ready for import. Anytime I am not playing Mass Effect I am thinking about it. These haiku are the result of me trying to be productive and failing.

Shepard at the club /     the galaxy's worst dancer / stick to shooting guns #haiku

Shepard at the club
the galaxy’s worst dancer
stick to shooting guns
Reapers stand no chance / wrath of this female earthling / her time of the month #haiku

Reapers stand no chance
wrath of this female Earthling
her time of the month
all sides surrounded / both squad mates casualties / nothing charge can't fix #haiku

all sides surrounded
both squad mates casualties
nothing charge can’t fix
tough-guy Turian / one come-on line from Femshep / a highschool junior #haiku

tough-guy Turian
one come-on line from Femshep
a highschool junior
face covered in blood / overcome by happiness / —only a baby #haiku

face covered in blood
overcome by happiness
—only a baby
rude and offensive / so vulnerable inside / —but nobody cares #haiku

rude and offensive
so vulnerable inside
—but nobody cares
soft-spoken fellow / fighting for the galaxy / ... crew needed color #haiku

soft-spoken fellow
fighting for the galaxy
… crew needed color
always cracking jokes— / self-defense mechanism / receding hairline #haiku

always cracking jokes—
self-defense mechanism
receding hairline
dresses like a thief / wonders why she can't come in / a sense of humor? #haiku

dresses like a thief
wonders why she can’t come in
a sense of humor?
Geth infiltrator / totally oblivious / his hilarity #haiku

Geth infiltrator
totally oblivious
his hilarity
young and innocent— / but now, hard-boiled and ruthless / schizophrenia #haiku

young and innocent—
but now, hard-boiled and ruthless
schizophrenia
super genius / engineered perfection / please remove your clothes #haiku

super genius
engineered perfection
please remove your clothes
courageous doctor / buried in his distant past / —an atrocity #haiku

courageous doctor
buried in his distant past
—an atrocity
deadly orgasm / Ardat-Yakshi maneuver / —quite literally

deadly orgasm
Ardat-Yakshi maneuver
—quite literally
the Justicar code / highest Asari concept / on-off like a switch #haiku

the Justicar code
highest Asari concept
on-off like a switch
fans demand her face / just to be dissapointed? / stick to fantasy #haiku

fans demand her face
just to be dissapointed?
stick to fantasy
headshot prodigy / I brought shredder ammo / keep it to yourself #haiku

headshot prodigy
“I brought shredder ammo”
keep it to yourself
skilled mercenary / cheated death dozens of times / inferno grenade #haiku

skilled mercenary
cheated death dozens of times
inferno grenade

Do you know what the best feeling a video game can give you is? Letting you feel like you outsmarted the game when, actually, you are simply playing as intended. It is a different matter entirely when you outsmart the game and the developers did not intend it. That is simply poor design, and although you can be proud of yourself, it isn’t the same situation. Usually when it’s unintended, whatever it is you discovered, will likely ruin the gameplay and likely break the game. It takes real genius to give a player a key gameplay element, or method for beating a level, in such a way that he or she thinks they found some kind of secret or shortcut. Let me give examples.

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Recently I have been playing some DOS games because, oddly, most of my most nostalgic video game feelings come from DOS. Mostly Master of Orion II (which I covered here), Prince of Persia and Dungeon Master 2. I haven’t played DM2 for a very long time although I do remember getting pretty far into it. I played it again. It’s still amazing. Most importantly the games cryptic magic system got me thinking about this very concept.

Dungeon Master 2 is a dungeon crawler RPG. The first thing you do is revive three companions from the “hall of heroes” where a bunch of random heroes are in cryogenic sleep or something. Then you begin your assault on Skull Keep. You find weapons and armor and kill monsters. The game is pretty awesome and atmospheric. I own the soundtrack. Anyway, back to the point.

The most interesting thing in this game is the magic system. When you click on the cast spell button you get a series of six symbol none of which make any sense to you. When you click on one, you lose mana, and it gets imprinted. Then the interface gives you six more symbols you can’t understand. Then again, and then again! So a spell consist of four or less symbols in a certain order. Once you click cast spell you just get a weird symbol and nothing happens (Unless you lucked out and actually cast a spell). How the heck are you supposed to know how to cast any spells? Guess!?

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You will pretty quickly discover that these magic runes are used throughout the game. Many heroes you revive even start with some items that have abilities which are displayed as a series of runes. The staff for example has a spell ability which is simply named (square, weird backwards n shape) and you have no idea what it does without trying it. Once you click it, the room you are in gets brighter. If you try to input these runes as a spell, it makes the room lighter! You just learned the “light” spell. Take a look at it, notice how the light spell uses the fire rune? Yeah! the spells actually make logical sense too. Once you know several spells, you can deduce additional spells just my understanding the symbols better.

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Throughout the game you will find potions, weapons, shields, music boxes, rings, wands etc. Many of them will have spells on them for you to experiment with. The spells that are most useful (fireball, lighting bolt, guard minion, haste) you memorize and use constantly. The rest of the spells you better write down in some kind of physical spell book in case you need to cast them later. Because the game won’t hold them for you.

The beauty of this system is the sense of accomplishment you feel as a player when you “outsmart” the game by “stealing” spells from items with limited uses. You find a staff that can only cast two fireballs, but you figure out how to cast unlimited fireballs off of it. For a good part of the game I still felt like I was going to find some kind of spell book and I am just cutting corners copy-catting these spells. Then it dawned on me that this is exactly how the designers intended that the player learn magic spells. But when I first started dropping attack minions all over the map I felt like I was the smartest kid in the world.

Portal was another game that gave me the same feeling except in portal instead of a gameplay mechanic, it was the level design. In Portal you use a special machine that can connect any two points together using portals. You shoot a portal “over there” and one “right here” step into the closer one and you come out “over there.” The game takes place in a testing facility where you need to beat a series of puzzle rooms by using your portaling ability.

The cool part of the game is how often you “thought” you were taking a shortcut, doing something sneaky, discovering a path that is not the intended path and feeling smug. Well, that is how everybody felt, because that is the way you are supposed to go! For those of you that played and beat portal, trying playing it a second time, and avoid your gut instinct to take the shortcut and try it “the hard way.” You will find out that there is no hard way! You found the only way but the game let you believe you outsmarted it.

That is the feeling games need to provide. Less tutorials! So many games beat you over the head with their “genius” mechanics because they are too afraid you might miss something. There is no discovery there, no sense of accomplishment. Let players discover things for themselves don’t be afraid of letting players be stuck for a while. The way games are going now, soon it will be unacceptable for a player to have to concentrate at all. Everything will need to be served to them on a text-heavy platter. I bet there are spells in Dungeon Master 2 I have never even seen and I think that is a really good thing. Can you think of any video games that made you feel like you outsmarted them?

If you are interested in trying Dungeon Master 2 for yourself, you should! It’s free (download via abandonia). You are on your own for getting Portal though. If you choose to play but don’t want to discover the magic on your own, I have created this handy spell guide for your convenience.

How Pineda Tacos made sure I never go back

How Pineda Tacos made sure I never go backMe and the boys often go out to lunch together. Pretty regularly we would go to this awesome little burrito shop called Pineda Tacos. They have these huge burritos, with awesome meats and low prices. I love getting the huge burrito and eating it twice. However due to awful customer service, I will never go back.

  • Crabby, non-accomidating cashier
  • Stealth-charges for bottled water
  • Refuses to give a water cup
  • Can’t pay with same card twice?

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align and distribute symbol wallpaper chalkboard theme

Align/Distribute Chalkboard 2560×1440

align and distribute symbol wallpaper graph paper theme

Align/Distribute Graph Paper 2560×1440

align and distribute symbol wallpaper hieroglyphs theme

Align/Distribute Hieroglyphs 2560×1440

Star Trek The Next Generation wallpaper minimalistic Picard

StarTrek TNG “Picard” 2560×1440

Star Trek The Next Generation wallpaper minimalistic Crusher

StarTrek TNG “Crusher” 2560×1440

Star Trek The Next Generation wallpaper minimalistic Data

StarTrek TNG “Data” 2560×1440

ilovechew.com promo wallpaper, high resolution images of gum

I Love Chew “igumchew” 2560×1440

ilovechew.com promo wallpaper, high resolution images of gum

I Love Chew “One Gum” 2560×1440

ilovechew.com promo wallpaper, high resolution images of gum

I Love Chew “Three Gum” 2560×1440

Yomi inspired wallpaper, wooden dojo floor with yomi logo carved out

Fantasy Strike “Yomi Dojo” 2560×1440

Wallpaper shows a photos of a coffee or tea monday to friday and then alcoholic drinks on saturday and sunday

“Days of the Week” 2560×1440

a white bird and a black bird sitting on a rooftop below a clear blue sky

Birds Not On Speaking Terms 2560×1440

All the delicious parts of Pam Anderson

All the delicious parts of Pam AndersonYou are familiar with the concept of organ donors? Same concept, except people donate their bodies and organs to the culinary world. This question is about sanctioned cannibalism. Here is the deal, you sign up as a donor and in return your family, or whoever you want, gets a hefty reward after your death. It is like insurance but totally separate. Don’t worry about how much they pay out, that isn’t what the question is about. The point is, all the human meat comes from volunteers, who died of naturally or accidentally, who’s family is prospering.

Because of this, human meat is commonplace. It isn’t cheap and plentiful, but it is readily available at your local grocery store and specialty meat markets. Purchasing, cooking and eating this human meat is legal. There are cook books on the market dealing specifically with cooking humans and which cuts are best with which wine etc.

Would you refuse to eat human meat even in this world? Or would you partake?

alt : Discuss on the forum or comment below.

cute little zombie girls

cute little zombie girlsLet’s say there is a gameshow where some giant company clones a bunch of mindless zombie toddlers. They are not real children and never were real children. They are simply animated piles of cloned flesh that don’t have feelings and only want to kill you and eat you.

You are the contestant on this show, and you get to “bet” how many toddlers you want to go into the room with. For each toddler you wager you will get paid $1000 after you exit the room. There are no weapons. The room is a basketball court (no bleachers, its walled off) and the toddlers are released 1 per second, alternating from the 4 doors to the room until they are all released. You need to survive for 1 hour to win.

How many toddlers would you agree to step into the arena with?

alt : Discuss on the forum or comment below.

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alt People often see me enjoying the wonders of retro gaming on my PowerBook and they ask me “How do you play those old games?” or simply say “I wish I had that on my computer!” Well everyone can, it’s easy peasy! Every aspect is free and time-tested. There are only two steps. Download an emulator, download a rom (game), open the rom with the emulator. That’s it! Optionally, you may want to get a controller to make your experience more enjoyable. I use an Xbox360 controller for all my retro gaming needs and it has been perfect. I am going to make this whole process so easy for you there is no excuse. I have provided all the links, done all the research, read on, and relive your memories!

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