Tag Archive for: Let’s Play

Battletoads Double Dragon – 1/1

It has all the co-op fun of both Battletoads AND Double Dragon but in one single game. If you think about it, the mixture is pretty confusing. The Double Dragon dudes come from a gritty, realistic world of street crime. The Battletoads come from some kind of weird sci-fi fantasy world were frogs and pigs do battle… Why together? Whatever, the game rocks.

BB Car – 1/1

It’s a simple game, looks like an old arcade port. The premix is pretty neat though. You control a little race car, and your goal is to collect all the flags on the course without crashing into any of the crazy enemy cars. Your car has the ability to poop out little obstacles which temporarily disable enemy cars. The graphics and sound is pretty meh, but the gameplay is solid.

Beauty and the Beast – 0/1

The controls are the big issue here. They are horrible. It feels like there is a 2 second delay after every button press. You Hudson Soft makes a ton of very shitty games. I am going to put them on my radar and keep track. I will admit though, the part in the game when I had to stick close to the candle man so I could see was pretty clever. Couldn’t save the game though.

Bee 52 – 0/1

I guess the rom is glitches… What can I say. Chances are it’s bad.

Beetlejuice – 0/1

A commentor told me I shouldn’t judge games poorly JUST because they are LJN titles. I would argue that I have not! I gave Back to the Future a 1/1 despite that game being almost universally hated. I will play every game for five minutes and be as fair as possible. Being fair… Beetlejuice is a piece of shit.

Best of the Best – 0/1

The concept rocks, but the controls! They are even worse than Beauty and the Beast! Maybe this is the kind of game you need a manual for? I don’t know. I tried my best to figure it out, and just when I thought I was on to something it turns out I wasn’t. I pretty much mashed random buttons for 5 minutes and didn’t have a good time doing it.

Want More? Please Share!

Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014

The Bard’s Tale – 0/1

Some forgettable RPG that has a very clunky control scheme and probably requires a manual. These NES RPGs do not age well. If you need role-playing fix, why would you ever play this?

Barker Bill’s Trick Shooting – 0/1

Requires light gun. Might be a good game but I will never know.

Baseball Simulator 1.000 – 1/1

Baseball Stars – 1/1

Baseball Stars II – 1/1

Bases Loaded 4 – 0/1

What can I say… As far as baseball games go, these are pretty fun. I hate baseball, but I do enjoy the competitive nature of playing with your friends. Bases Loaded 4 is the worst of the bunch, but as long as it’s 2 player it can’t be that bad.

Batman Returns – 0/1

This is like a reverse port of Batman Returns on SNES and I bet you can imagine how that goes. It’s just okay as an SNES game but it’s very boring on NES.

It might look like I reviewed 7 games this session but I ran into a Nintendo Power Glove only game and was forced to give it a 0. I also gave a 0 to the golf game without playing it. Sorry golf fans! Bonus, fresh sound effects and a phone call interruption!

Back to the Future II & III – 0/1

It is a terrible platformer with bad controls and worse music. The enemies don’t have anything to do with the movie. They are robots, birds and colored balls. I once saw a human being that threw things at me and that was about as close to the movie as it got.

Bad Dudes – 1/1

This game has a reputation of being pretty terrible but I don’t agree. I had this game as a kid and it was awesome! Karnov is in it, you fight ninjas, you are a bad dude, what more can you ask for? The controls are good, you have a ton of cool moves including a charge-up hadoken punch and you fight a huge variety of enemies. Bonus for awesome music.

Bad News Baseball – 1/1

You have probably noticed that I am very hesitant to even play sports games because they are mostly SO BAD. The problem with that plan is I may miss awesome games like this! I hate baseball and I had a great time with this. The gameplay is simply enough to understand quickly, pitching and batting are both fun. This might be the best baseball simulator I have ever played. If I had this as a kid… I might be a Twins fan today.

Bad Street Brawler – 0/1

Power Glove required? Nice try Nintendo.

Balloon Fight – 1/1

It is a slightly modified remake of the arcade classic Joust. I love Joust and I love Balloon Fight. The gameplay is fun and has a high skill cap. I only played one mode but there is also a two player mode, and another mode called Balloon Trip in which you need to collect balloons while avoiding sparks. A+

Bandai Golf: Challenge Pebble Beach – 0/1

Yeah I didn’t even play it. I just “felt” that it was going to be terrible and spared myself.

Barbie – 0/1

There are worse games on NES for sure. I was torn about how to rate this game. On one hand, it is playable . On the other hand it has terrible control sound. Compared to any decent platformer it is terrible, although both of the “bosses” I faced did seem pretty inventive. In the end … I simply cannot recommend this game.

I was feeling very sick; too sick to sleep. No friend available, so I had to set out on my own and unfortunately ran into these five games. To be fair they aren’t the worst, god knows none of these are as bad as The Adventure of Tom Sawyer, but they are bad. We also run into our first “B” game. I hope you look forward to many B games to come.

Astyanax – 0/1

I guess this is based on a much better looking 2-player arcade game which might have been pretty good. Unfortunately this port doesn’t do the arcade version justice. The character is huge, and the clumsy controls make it almost impossible not to eat damage. Don’t get me started on the pits… The graphics are pretty awesome though, I enjoy the fleshed out backgrounds. Also the “power” mechanic in the attack is pretty innovative.

Athena – 0/1

Not much too say… It is a terrible platformer with very bad controls. When you get attacked by multiple enemies, I can’t help but imagine them brutally raping the young girl. It is hard to shake.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes – 0/1

Is this some kind of cartoon or comic book? Why are the tomatoes attacking? The controls are very bad and the gameplay is boring. The game is bad.

Aussie Rules Footy – 0/1

I hate sports games, I don’t know how to play rugby. I am only assuming “Aussie Rules Footy” is actually rugby. On the other hand, the graphics are impressive.

Baby Boomer – 0/1

The concept is original. You need to defend a baby from enemies and interact with the environment to make sure the baby has a path to crawl on. Bonus point for letting you cooperate with a friend. Unfortunately they forgot to make it fun.

This is Yury’s last session for the night. Let’s all thank him for coming over and playing 3+ hours of mostly terrible video games with me! At least we finish on a high note.

Alien Syndrome – 1/1

I can’t believe I had never heard about this game! Not only in my childhood but even after that when I started emulating and actively looking for 2-player co-op games. It plays like Smash TV and feels like a great game.

All-Pro Basketball – 0/1

Ahhh sports games. I will eat my tie once we finally get a good one. This game actually does have some cool slam dunk animations which add a fun variety. However the strange cut to switch which side of the court you are playing on is very awkward.

Alpha Mission – 0/1

The gameplay is almost as forgettable as the title. This is just a top-down shooter with bad sound effects and bad music. It is not fun to play.

Amagon – 0/1

What is going on in this game? It is a side-scrolling platformer with an Incredible Hulk vibe … You turn into a big body builder when you get enough points or something, problem is: it’s much better to NOT be the hulk and use the gun.

American Gladiators – 1/1

This is one of my all-time favorite Nintendo games! It tests you on many required gaming skills like: timing, movement, aim, fast alternating button presses. All of that through a variety of mini-games with great music, and fierce 2-player competition!? Top notch. I still go back to this winner regularly.