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Some of my best childhood memories were had on the X-Men 6 arcade machine. It was the first game me and my friends would run to when we were unleashed into the arcade. But does it hold up? Check out my $5 play-through and see for yourself!
Well it is an X-Men game, which gives it a considerable head start because X-Men are awesome. Compared to other beat ’em ups it is certainly above average. Let’s do a quick run down.
Special Powers
To begin, let me give some attention to the special power system. Although I hate the idea of Cyclops loses life when he uses his eye laser, I understand the convention. This was simply the status quo in beat em ups of the era. Final Fight, Streets of Rage, Turtle in Time, King of Dragons, and Knights of the Round all used the same life loss mechanic to offset the power of the special ability. However X-Men does a much better job of it in two ways.
First, the mutant power in X-Men auto kills every single enemy in the game except bosses. It’s WAY more powerful then any of the other beat em ups mentioned. In those games the specials simply do a set amount of damage, often not enough to kill even the basic enemies. Trading life to “hurt” enemies is almost always not worth it. Killing the entire screen often is.
Second, you get one free “desperation” special move per life. Next to your life bar you have one blue power orb which you use if your life is at 4/10 or lower. This means at least once per life, you get to use your power! Finally, you are encouraged to use the special. Do you know how many time I have seen Leonardo’s sword spin move in Turtles in Time? Probably zero times, because it’s a bad idea to use 100% of the time. At least I get one free use in this game.
Combat
Combat variety is another thing worth talking about. In this game you have exactly 3 basic attacks: standing attack, jump attack, and quick jump attack. There is a grab, and a ground attack but they happen automatically and only in special cases (although they do visually add considerable variety to the combat). Despite this seemingly simply combat system, each character does feel very different. This is more than I can say for some other games like Turtles in Time and Knights of the Round.
Enemies
Enemy variety is where this game really lacks. The sentinels come at you like M&Ms, and like M&Ms they are all the same aside from the paint job. Other than sentinels you have some other various monsters but nothing makes you act differently to kill them other than mini-bosses. There certainly could have been more to this game in the enemy department.
The bad does not even come close to overpowering the good in this classic. It does a few things wrong, but so much right. Even today, this game remains one of the best arcade games. Play it alone, play it with your friends, but totally give it another play-through.
Metal Slug is one of the best side scrolling shoot em ups ever made. This is the first game in a long and successful series, which pretty much stays true to this core gameplay through all of it’s iterations. It has coop mode, excellent sprite graphics, awesome music, and a sense of humor about itself. I would compare gameplay to Contra.
There is something specific about Metal Slug that stands out. How fast paced it is, and I think I know why.
I am interested in limited resources in games, special powers, magic and especially ammo. I often find myself analyzing how useful they are, and how the game chooses to limit them. Metal Slug has two limited resources, special ammo and grenades.
I guess it’s also fair to count lives as a limited resource, although there isn’t any decision making when it comes to rationing the resource of life. You simply always try to preserve your life.
You get special weapons from POWs who you rescue throughout the stages. Each special weapon has a predetermined amount of ammo. Other than grenades, you have no alternate weapons. You must use your special weapon ammo constantly because this isn’t really the kind of game in which you ever stop shooting. It is slightly frustrating to “waste” rocket launcher or flame shot rounds on enemies that only take one bullet from your pea-shooter, but you have to do it.
The good news is, Metal Slug is very liberal with special weapons. You probably have one more often than not, using all the different weapons keeps the game fun and varied. Compare this paradigm with a game like Contra. In Contra once you get spread shot, homing missiles, or whatever your favorite weapons is, you AVOID other power ups like the plague. No one wants to get the machine gun on accident when they have spread.
What is more interesting is the grenades. Every time you begin a life you spawn with ten grenades. This is a pretty high number considering the life expectancy of your character is about ninety seconds. Even though they are a limited resource, you are being wasteful if you try to conserve them and end up dying with eight in your pocket.
Even though limited resources usual add tension, in Metal Slug they force you to hit the gas and play it fast. It’s part of the reason this game feels so awesome. You shoot all of them ammo, you pitch all the grenades, you die with everything exhausted. Respawn and run amok all over again.
The scarcity vs abundance dichotomy of this game creates a fast and action-packed burn.
My lovely wife-to-be joins in, just in time for Bible Adventures!
Bible Adventures – 1/1
I have seen many people review this game including Angry Nerd and Pat the Punk. The game seems to get a bad rap, known as a classic bad game. Well it certainly isn’t a good game, but there is nothing too horrible about it. Dare I even say … an innovative platformer?
Bible Buffet – 0/1
First let me just say the game itself doesn’t seem to have ANYTHING “Bible” about it. It’s just some boring board game and I assume the questions sections require you to answer Bible-related questions. I don’t know for sure because I don’t have whatever book they refer to. Unfortunately, even if I had that book this game wouldn’t be fun.
Big Nose Freaks Out – 1/1
I think this is the sequel to Big Nose the Caveman? For some unknown reason in this game you are a caveman riding a skateboard. The good news is, it’s fun!
Big Nose the Caveman – 1/1
It’s a platformer. It isn’t terrible.
Bigfoot – 0/1
It’s a multiplayer monster truck racing game with multiple game modes. I gave it a 0 because it was too hard to figure out. However I think if I spent more than 5 minutes playing it, and figured out the controls, I would probably enjoy it.
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Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014
Battletoads Double Dragon – 1/1
It has all the co-op fun of both Battletoads AND Double Dragon but in one single game. If you think about it, the mixture is pretty confusing. The Double Dragon dudes come from a gritty, realistic world of street crime. The Battletoads come from some kind of weird sci-fi fantasy world were frogs and pigs do battle… Why together? Whatever, the game rocks.
BB Car – 1/1
It’s a simple game, looks like an old arcade port. The premix is pretty neat though. You control a little race car, and your goal is to collect all the flags on the course without crashing into any of the crazy enemy cars. Your car has the ability to poop out little obstacles which temporarily disable enemy cars. The graphics and sound is pretty meh, but the gameplay is solid.
Beauty and the Beast – 0/1
The controls are the big issue here. They are horrible. It feels like there is a 2 second delay after every button press. You Hudson Soft makes a ton of very shitty games. I am going to put them on my radar and keep track. I will admit though, the part in the game when I had to stick close to the candle man so I could see was pretty clever. Couldn’t save the game though.
Bee 52 – 0/1
I guess the rom is glitches… What can I say. Chances are it’s bad.
Beetlejuice – 0/1
A commentor told me I shouldn’t judge games poorly JUST because they are LJN titles. I would argue that I have not! I gave Back to the Future a 1/1 despite that game being almost universally hated. I will play every game for five minutes and be as fair as possible. Being fair… Beetlejuice is a piece of shit.
Best of the Best – 0/1
The concept rocks, but the controls! They are even worse than Beauty and the Beast! Maybe this is the kind of game you need a manual for? I don’t know. I tried my best to figure it out, and just when I thought I was on to something it turns out I wasn’t. I pretty much mashed random buttons for 5 minutes and didn’t have a good time doing it.
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Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014
My friends are still here to tackle a few more games! Even Emily get’s in on the action even though she can’t seem to get into frame 🙁
Batman Return of the Joker – 0/1
Looking back at this game, it actually doesn’t look very bad. I mean it’s a decent action platformer with Batman in it. There are plenty of power ups and the controls aren’t even bad. Well… you can watch the gameplay and judge for yourself. Maybe some nostalgia colored glasses are needed?
Batman – 1/1
Loved this game back when I owned it on NES and I still love it now. Wall jumping has never felt more badass. I also love how you just punch the shit to of dudes with your fists. The music is also some of the best.
Battle Chess – 0/1
I remember having a blast playing this game on my Mac back in the day. The Mac/PC version was MUCH better than this… The concept of this game is actually pretty good. It livens up the standard game of chess with cool and varied animations and gives it a cool phantasy feel. Problem is on NES the absurd slowness of the gameplay ruins any fun or entertainment.
Battle of Olympus – 1/1
It’s a fun action RPG. It plays and feels like Legend of Zelda, and doesn’t have any glaring flaws. I read an in depth review of the game in the first issue of Retro magazine and it actually looks like a great game. I would have been happy to own it in my childhood.
Battleship – 1/1
I fully expected this to be even worse than Battle Chess. Turns out they didn’t only make a fast paced version of Battleship but they even added some innovation in the form of different missile types that target different patters on the grid. Decent.
Battletoads – 1/1
What a classic! Everyone knows this is getting a 1/1 the game is iconic. The game has 2-player co-op, which automatically puts it way ahead of the pack. The gameplay is fun and varied, the music rocks, and the game is hard as nails! Pure classic.
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Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014
The Bard’s Tale – 0/1
Some forgettable RPG that has a very clunky control scheme and probably requires a manual. These NES RPGs do not age well. If you need role-playing fix, why would you ever play this?
Barker Bill’s Trick Shooting – 0/1
Requires light gun. Might be a good game but I will never know.
Baseball Simulator 1.000 – 1/1
Baseball Stars – 1/1
Baseball Stars II – 1/1
Bases Loaded 4 – 0/1
What can I say… As far as baseball games go, these are pretty fun. I hate baseball, but I do enjoy the competitive nature of playing with your friends. Bases Loaded 4 is the worst of the bunch, but as long as it’s 2 player it can’t be that bad.
Batman Returns – 0/1
This is like a reverse port of Batman Returns on SNES and I bet you can imagine how that goes. It’s just okay as an SNES game but it’s very boring on NES.
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Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014
Playing arcade games through an emulator isn’t the same as really playing them. Knowing you only have 15 quarters left in your pocket and every single life counts is a thrill that doesn’t exist when there is an “insert coin” button. That is why I imposed a $5 limit on myself, that is often how much money my parents would give me when they let me loose in an arcade during my childhood.
How deep into the classic Mortal Kombat can I get with only $5? Watch and find out!
It might look like I reviewed 7 games this session but I ran into a Nintendo Power Glove only game and was forced to give it a 0. I also gave a 0 to the golf game without playing it. Sorry golf fans! Bonus, fresh sound effects and a phone call interruption!
Back to the Future II & III – 0/1
It is a terrible platformer with bad controls and worse music. The enemies don’t have anything to do with the movie. They are robots, birds and colored balls. I once saw a human being that threw things at me and that was about as close to the movie as it got.
Bad Dudes – 1/1
This game has a reputation of being pretty terrible but I don’t agree. I had this game as a kid and it was awesome! Karnov is in it, you fight ninjas, you are a bad dude, what more can you ask for? The controls are good, you have a ton of cool moves including a charge-up hadoken punch and you fight a huge variety of enemies. Bonus for awesome music.
Bad News Baseball – 1/1
You have probably noticed that I am very hesitant to even play sports games because they are mostly SO BAD. The problem with that plan is I may miss awesome games like this! I hate baseball and I had a great time with this. The gameplay is simply enough to understand quickly, pitching and batting are both fun. This might be the best baseball simulator I have ever played. If I had this as a kid… I might be a Twins fan today.
Bad Street Brawler – 0/1
Power Glove required? Nice try Nintendo.
Balloon Fight – 1/1
It is a slightly modified remake of the arcade classic Joust. I love Joust and I love Balloon Fight. The gameplay is fun and has a high skill cap. I only played one mode but there is also a two player mode, and another mode called Balloon Trip in which you need to collect balloons while avoiding sparks. A+
Bandai Golf: Challenge Pebble Beach – 0/1
Yeah I didn’t even play it. I just “felt” that it was going to be terrible and spared myself.
Barbie – 0/1
There are worse games on NES for sure. I was torn about how to rate this game. On one hand, it is playable . On the other hand it has terrible control sound. Compared to any decent platformer it is terrible, although both of the “bosses” I faced did seem pretty inventive. In the end … I simply cannot recommend this game.
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Watch me play every #NES game for 5 min and give it a 0 or 1 rating http://t.co/V1ibMK1pKF pic.twitter.com/CeV7RbCZyo
— Alex Krasny (@lexKrasny) March 25, 2014
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