Disney-licensed NES games were notoriously hit-or-miss (The Lion King still haunts my nightmares), but as I pointed out, “you see the red Capcom label there.”

Capcom developed this side-scrolling action platformer at a time when they were absolutely dominating the NES, and it shows. The game features Ariel navigating both underwater swimming sections and (allegedly) land-based walking segments after gaining her human form—a unique dual-mechanic system that keeps things fresh.

The bubble-shooting combat took us a minute to figure out. “What are you doing there? Bubble magic?” Jake asked as I started experimenting. The game has this system where you can trap enemies in bubbles and then use them as projectiles. “It’s like a Mario shell kind of a vibe,” Jake observed when we discovered the captured enemies would eventually break free if you held them too long.

What impressed me most was how polished everything felt. The controls were responsive, the level design thoughtful, and yeah, the music slaps. “It’s got the jam right off the bat. I love that,” Jake noted. After our brief session, I was genuinely intrigued. “There’s a whole other walking section apparently,” I mentioned, giving it a solid 1/1. Capcom’s record improved to 17-3, and they continue holding it down.

Little Red Hood is a 1990-ish unlicensed game from Sachen, a Taiwanese developer “notorious for low-quality unauthorized cartridges” that bypassed Nintendo’s licensing requirements. And boy, does it show.

“Oh my god. Oh boy. This jump is awkward as hell,” I groaned almost immediately. The physics are basically nonexistent—your character just sort of transforms into different shapes when jumping. Jake nailed it: “There’s no physics. It’s just a shape.” The collision detection is horseshit, the animations are terrible, and we genuinely couldn’t figure out what we were supposed to be doing.

The game features some kind of shop system and enemies that spawn from blinking rocks, but nothing makes sense. At one point I kicked a rock and a snake came out. The next time I kicked a rock it was a scorpion, then a white dog. We did discover you could buy a slingshot for temporary self-defense, which Jake described as “short-lived joy” since it only gave you three shots before disappearing.

The one bright spot? A dog companion that eats enemies. “I like the dog element,” Jake admitted. “He just eats the bad guys.” But even that couldn’t save this mess.

“It does show a very obvious lack of polish,” I explained, “The collision detection is horseshit.” Still, Jake tried to be fair in his final assessment. “If I was six in 1988 and didn’t know any better, I would enjoy that game.” But this is 2025, and I know better. Zero out of one.

“You’re in for a treat here, Jake. This is it,” I said as we loaded up Little Samson. And I meant it. This 1992 Taito-published platformer is “the most expensive NES game.” Complete copies regularly sell for $1,000-$3,000+ because of its tiny print run at the tail end of the NES lifecycle.

But here’s the thing: it deserves every penny of that price tag (well… you know what I mean). Little Samson is “arguably the best Nintendo game ever made” from a pure quality standpoint. The game features four playable characters—Samson the hero, Kikira the dragon, Gamm the golem, and K.O. the mouse—each with completely unique abilities and movement styles.

Jake started with the mouse, which can “latch on to surfaces and wall run upside down, sideways, in any direction.” The dragon flies. The golem can walk on spikes without taking damage. The first four levels are dedicated to each character, forcing you to master their mechanics. Then you unlock the ability to switch on the fly, using each character’s strengths to solve environmental puzzles.

“The enemies are so animated,” Jake marveled. “Look at that spinning sword. That’s cool.” The sprite work is genuinely impressive, with multi-sprite animations and fluid movement that rivals first-party Nintendo titles. Even the golem’s rock fist has this “elasticy, Vector Man-esque punch” quality.

We focused on the golem for most of our session because, as I noted, “He’s my favorite character. I think he’s got the coolest music.” Jake appreciated the level design: “It’s got clever and satisfying level design to capitalize on all the” different character abilities.

“Great game. And anybody who hasn’t played Little Samson, you got to emulate it because you’re not going to be buying the console version.”

The title rings a bell though I cannot place,” Jake said when Lode Runner loaded up. This 1987 Broderbund-published game is a port of Doug Smith’s 1983 classic that first appeared on computers like the Commodore 64. The NES version, ported by Hudson Soft, brings the single-screen puzzle-platformer action to consoles.

The concept is deceptively simple: collect all the gold pieces while avoiding guards, using your ability to dig temporary holes in the floor to trap enemies or create pathways. “Your ability is to shoot your gun diagonally down on either side of you. At the ground,” I explained. The holes regenerate after a few seconds, so timing is everything.

Jake picked up the mechanics faster than I did. “Your reflexes are so much better than mine,” I admitted after watching him navigate a tricky section. “It’s cuz I have a little sore throat,” I joked, to which I replied: “The throat bone isn’t connected to the brain bone, buddy.”

I played a lot of this game on my Mac. Actually that game is called Lode Runner: The Legend Returns which is also on PS1 and Saturn. Def worth player for the improved graphics and 2-player co-op gameplay.

“Never heard of this game,” I admitted as we loaded up this 1991 Konami title. And honestly? That’s a shame, because The Lone Ranger is legitimately excellent—a “multi-perspective western adventure that switches between side-scrolling horseback shooting, first-person gunfight sequences, and overhead town exploration.”

It’s basically Red Dead Redemption on the NES, and I’m not exaggerating. The game opens with side-scrolling action, then shifts to an overhead RPG-style town where you can talk to NPCs, visit shops, and take on fetch quests. There’s even a first-person shooting gallery minigame. “That’s pretty cool depth,” I noted while trying (and mostly failing) at the target practice.

The variety is impressive. You’re searching for a legendary white horse named Silver while tracking down outlaws, and the game sends you on elaborate quest chains involving letters from sheriffs and wise men.

The combat is the real star. Starting with just your fists, you eventually scrape together enough money to buy a gun, and everything changes: “I’m giving this hidden gem quality right now.”

The production values are top-notch. “Look at this guy,” I marveled at the detailed sprite work. “Now this was made with love. You can just feel it. It’s Konami.” The game even supports the Konami Laser Scope voice command headset—remember that absurd peripheral where you’d shout “FIRE” to shoot?

Despite being published by Konami (who had a solid 15-8 record by this point in our series), The Lone Ranger has a reputation as one of their weaker titles. I have no idea why. This game rules. 1/1, easy. “A great game, and I would like to go back to it.”