Posts

Adventures of Lolo 3 – 1/1

Hey finally they teach us how to play! I guess it’s about time. Still the same gameplay as the previous two games, which I suppose is fine. I am actually surprised I never even heard of this game as a kid. Also why hasn’t there been an iOS remake?

Adventures of Rad Gravity – 0/1

I guess my biggest gripe is how little this game actually has anything to do with gravity… I was expecting some kind of gravity gun, or gravity mechanic. Nope, just a totally generic side scrolling platformer.

Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle – 0/1

Did you watch the video? Have you ever seen a more disgusting game? Actually, scratch that, because you also must have seen the adventures of Tom Sawyer. That looks much more disgusting.

Adventures of Tom Sawyer – 0/1

Did you see the looks on our faces when we saw the game? How could this even see production? I feel so sorry for the poor children who had to suffer through this.

After Burner – 0/1

It’s a pretty sweet arcade game I think, but on NES it is just a seizure-inducing mess. It seems to have all the elements of a good combat flight sim: guns, missiles, barrel rolls etc… But the controls are just too poor and the graphics too ugly. Nintendo wasn’t ready for this port. They should have waited till SNES.

Adventures of Bayou Billy – 0/1

I had this game when I was a kid unfortunately, and I beat it. The interesting thing about this game is it actually has 3 different types of gameplay. The awful beat-em up sections which you saw, driving sections, and first person light gun sections. The light gun sections are the most fun.

Adventures of DinoRiki – 1/1

I had this game when I was a kid as well and I remember loving it. It’s a pretty interesting take on a top down shooter. You play a caveman throwing rocks, boomerangs, fire and more. I remember going “hulk mode” and getting a set of wings eventually.

Adventures of Gilligan’s Island – 0/1

Very unfun adventure game. The walk-slowly-through-quicksand is an especially innovative mechanic. However thought of that idea should win an award.

Adventures of Lolo – 1/1

I know this game has a bit of a cult following. It’s a fine puzzle game and I bet it would feel right at home on a mobile device. There is a pretty annoying lack of tutorial which makes the learning curve awkward. Regardless, good graphics, fine music, nice puzzle game.

Adventures of Lolo 2 – 0/1

It’s nearly identical to the first game. Pretty much an expansion pack. The music and graphics are the same, and there is still no tutorial. Had no choice but to give this a 0. How much do I need to love Lolo to actually buy Lolo 2?

Special treat for every one, my boy Yury shows up for a smooth “Guys in Ties” session. Together, nothing can stop us. He sticks around for a nice series of videos!

AD&D Hillsfar – 0/1

It’s a poorly done RPG. I can appreciate AD&D going for it and making a game to represent their pen and paper gaming world but this was a massive flop. Although slow-motion horse is pretty money.

AD&D Pool of Radiance – 1/1

The got it right this time. The game controls like Dungeon Master or Eye of the Beholder, but has turn-based strategic combat. I obviously didn’t play enough to know much but it seems like a solid NES RPG.

Adventure Island 2 & 3 – 1/1

These two are pretty much the same game. I really enjoy the way they incorporated a “time” mechanic with food and hunger. Love the dinosaurs you ride. Love Mr. Higgins.

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom – 1/1

I love games that are based on mini games. The graphics are good, the music is ok, and the Disney IP has plenty of ground to cover. I bet this is a decent game.

Action 52 – 0/1

There are 52 games and they all get 0/1. Granted I only played like 3 of them, I watch both the Angry Nerd and Pat the Punk play all of the games. This game is all bad.

Addam’s Family – 0/1

Very unremarkable and boring side-scrolling platformer. The music is the best part, but it isn’t enough.

Addam’s Family Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt 0/1

Terrible platformer with no music. At least TRY for some music, I mean you had the Addam’s Family theme in the first game

AD&D DragonStrike – 1/1

One of the most original games on the NES. It’s an open-world top down shooter with an elevation mechanic, and you control a dragon! You kick everything’s ass from other dragons to pirate ships. Winner.

AD&D Heroes of the Lance – 0/1

Not sure how this game got passed any QA person in the world. It’s totally broken. You can’t even hit the enemies. You certainly cannot dodge their attacks. Unplayable.

There are just so many Nintendo games out there, who has time to play them all? Apparently I do. I decided I am going to play every game in the NES library for 5 minutes at a time. After that I will give them games a rating from 0 to 1. Here is the first batch of videos. Make sure to share it with your friends and subscribe to me on youtube!

1943: The Battle of Midway – 1/1

It’s a cool shooter set in the historical WWII setting. There are weapon upgrades, a sweet loop move, and a ton of exploding airplanes. Can’t complain.

3D WorldRunner – 1/1

I appreciate that Acclaim tried to innovate with a NES game in 3D. The graphics and 3D effects in this game are sweet despite the gameplay being pretty lame. Good enough.

720 – 0/1

Even though I really enjoy games that include a bunch of mini games, this one is simply too disgusting to play.

8 Eyes – 1/1

It sure feels like Castlevania. You get to choose what order you play the levels so even if you get stuck you can still see a bunch of the game. There seems to be a lot to it. Nice variety of music.

Abadox: The Deadly Inner War – 1/1

A side-scrolling shooter with some kind of viral, biomechanics theme. Cool upgrades, and awesome settings. Nothing wrong about it.

Is the game hard? Of course it’s hard, you get killed in one hit, bad guys come out of nowhere, you are never prepared for what is coming next, you will literally retry the same ROOM 30-50 times before beating it, only to die from some stray bullet the second you open the next door. It is trial and error bullshit at it’s best.

But it works!

Gameplay

This game’s developers have mastered the art of trial and error gameplay. When you die there is no waiting time, you are back into the action at the press of a button. Each section (floor) is only 1-3 minutes long, so no matter when you get killed it will only take you a minute or two to get right back to were you died. There are no lives, no continues, only your gun, wits, and respawn button. You don’t need to get concerned with trying out a variety of strategies no matter how absurd because if they fail you lose almost no progress.

The gameplay is fast paced and fluid. The enemies are stupid and predictable. Levels almost feel like a logic puzzle, trying to manipulate the enemies into doing what you want, but with just enough randomness to keep your on your toes. After you lose count of how many times you have tried, you enter a zen-like state of murder rage. It is almost peaceful.

Music

The music plays a vital role. It keeps you moving, it keeps you bouncing in your seat. Each track gives it’s respective level a unique feeling, and when you die the music carries the action forward, There is no break. The music tugs you back into the dance of death no matter how many times it takes to get the steps right. I highly recommend getting the soundtrack, at least check it out on youtube.

Story (Spoiler Alert)

To be honest, I felt this was a huge letdown. I was actually really into the story as it progressed. I wanted to know who was calling “Jacket” and why he was doing what they said. Who is trying to kill the Russian mafia, for what reason? Why does Jacket hallucinate and have visions? Why is that guy at the stores giving him everything for free? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? You get no answers. Even when you play the second act as “Helmet” who is much more cognizant and actually trying to get the answers, you pretty much get nothing meaningful. It’s pretty frustrating to create this weird creepy atmosphere and then never tie up the loose ends…

Problems

Considering how masterfully the developers created a high tension trial/error action game, I find several massive blunders in the game design. First is the absolutely horrible hospital level called Trauma. In this level you need to sneak out of the hospital without being spotted by anyone, no murder. You are just a confused and dizzy patient, and you need to sneak out. The section takes a long time, doesn’t do anything for the story, and it’s infuriating. As if sneaking around isn’t’ bad enough, the character is also drugged up and wobbles around, and if you walk to long without stopping you need to have a migraine and stand still for a while. It was not fun, the change of pace was not welcome.

Along the same lines, the game has several boss fights, and when you die on them (which you will 10-20 times) you need to go through the dialogue every time. This is a huge misstep, why not just restart right at the “go” point? Why do I need to hear the bad guys line over and over? This is pretty textbook design stuff guys, why do this?

Conclusion

The shortcommings are minor. The gameplay is top notch and the fun factor can’t be beat. I don’t beat games very often anymore. I beat this game, and I had a blast doing it. I will let my gameplay footage speak for itself.