Grand Theft Auto Adventures


My favorite homey Franklin (dressed in a full basketball uniform) just finished eluding the police after going on a knife-sponsored killing spree in front of the movie theater because it was closed and I really wanted to watch “The Loneliest Robot in England.” I found myself in the rich hilly part of Los Santos and I thought maybe I would drive to the top of the highest cliff and drive off for no good reason. My ascent was interrupted by a man in the driveway yelling at his wife. Apparently they were having a lover’s quarrel and she was busy throwing all of his clothes and belongings out of the bedroom window into the driveway.

The gentlemen didn’t seem at all surprised when a black guy with blood all over his basketball uniform stepped out of the horribly smashed (and bloody) Lincoln. Instead he told me he was sick of this shit and wanted a ride to the golf course. Hm yeah ok get in. During the ride he was telling me something but I was too busy driving down the side of the cliff side trying to keep the car from flipping over to pay attention.

He thanked me for the ride and invited me to play golf with him… Sure why not, YOLO right? So there I was, Franklin in full basketball gear teeing up for my very first game of golf. I ended up +3 after nine holes, not bad at all for first timer! I got back into my beat-up car to get back to whatever I was doing… What was it anyway? I couldn’t find the way out of the parking lot and accidentally drove into the golf course. It was really fun driving my car as fast as I could through the rolling hills of the well-kept course, obviously I couldn’t resist running over as many golfers as possible. I wondered if I could find and run over the guy I just played golf with… Maybe I already did… These white-boys, they all look alike right?

Inevitably the police were called and we had a pretty outstanding chase and shoot out on the green of hole 6. While watching the death animation it bugged me that for some reason media coverage isn’t included in this game. You would think once a chase/killing spree lasted long enough news vans and helicopters would start coming to scene of the crime… Oh well, maybe GTA6.

Woke up at the hospital, stabbed the first person I saw … with a crowbar. Stole a car and proceeded to drive aimlessly on the sidewalk.

What was I doing again?

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