MN Powerball: Buy a Ticket

The Powerball in MN is up to a prize of $580 million dollars, or a $380 million lump sum. When it gets this high everyone gets really excited to buy tickets. Then you have the “smart people” who make fun of people who buy Powerball tickets.

They say things like this:

  • “The lottery is a tax only on stupid people.”
  • “Playing the lottery is like throwing money away.”
  • “You are more likely to get hit by lightning than win the lottery!”

Which am I? I am the guy who makes fun of the people who make fun of the people who buy Powerball tickets.

I will confirm that it is true, you will probably live your entire life and never win the lottery. HOWEVER is it actually a bad bet? Well according to MNLottery.com your odds of winning the Powerball jackpot is 1:175,000,000 and you stand to win some portion of $380,000,000. Guys, that isn’t a bad bet. Even considering you split it, even four ways, you stand to win $95 mil, I have seen people make dumber bets when they rent a movie they aren’t sure about. Ok sure, taxes right? Alright lets just say you get only 50% of the pool. $180 million whatever. Still positive expected value!

Also consider that going from 0 tickets to 1 ticket increases your chance to win by HUGE (infinite?) margin. Consider that winning the Powerball will give you so much money you will never need to do anything ever again. Is that worth $1 to you? Even if your odds are 1:175million. The answer should be yes, unless you are a moron. Or unless $1 is actually very important to you. In which case you should do the responsible thing and spend it on rice.

Want to know something else cool about Powerball? If you buy a ticket every single day for your entire life and you live to be 80, you would have spent $30,000 on Powerball. But if you hit you will win $180,000,000 or more! It’s a classic lose small win huge opportunity. This is the kind of bet you dream of.

So who is really the stupid one?

I need to go buy a ticket.

Value of Entertainment Hours

I was on my way to pre-order Assassin’s Creed III. I was deeply disturbed by the $60 price tag. Then, I started thinking… Is the game really worth $60? How do I value a video game?

Recently, in preparation for ACIII, I completed Assassin’s Creed II. Although it actually took me about 4 years to beat that game, in game time it took 32 hours. That means I paid approximately $2 per hour to play this game. Assuming I was “entertained” each hour. How does that fair against other games? Let’s compare that to Mass Effect .

I have played Mass Effect 3 160 hours. An eye-opening figure to say the least. ME3 cost me $60 which only ends up costing 37 cents per entertainment hour. That is already amazing and I am not even finished with that game yet! I still want to beat it at least twice more. Of course, the majority of my ME3 time has been spent in multiplayer. I am glad to know that Assassin’s Creed III will offer multiplayer otherwise I can only assume beating it will only take about 30 hours.

This way of valuing games is interesting. Especially when comparing console to mobile games. The iOS classic Game Dev Story only cost $3 put I have easily spent over 30 hours playing it (yeah I really like Game Dev Story). That is only 10 cents per hour! Mobile games usually carry a very low cost yet people are still hesitant to spend more than $1 on a game. They shouldn’t be, even if only an hour is spent playing it, it is likely more entertainment value than going to a movie.

Speaking of movies, if we apply this same measure of entertainment hours to a movie theatre, buying a DVD or even a music album it looks like we are being ripped off!

  • Movie $5 per hour ($10 ticket, 2 hour movie)
  • DVD $10 per hour ($20 DVD, 2 hour movie)
  • Album $8 per hour ($10 album, 1.25 hours of music)

Granted in the case of a DVD or music you will watch/hear the media multiple times and the value of that entertainment will increase each time. Sometimes buying media this way is worth it. Star Trek the Next Generation, the greatest series ever created, can be purchased for about $300. Total running length of TNG is about 150 hours. Watching all of it only once is about the same value as you get from a 30 hour video game, or $2 per hour. But who can watch that series just once? I am currently watching it for the fourth time.

I could go on all day but I better not. Keep this in mind when you are thinking about buying a movie or game though, it might help you make up your mind.

Comic strip set in a pizza place with Mr. Krasny at the counter. Two customers walk in and ask if a medium pizza is enough to feed them both. Mr. Krasny says 'See, usually it's two females that order a medium...' the two men look at one another and decide to order a large.

Introducing the Mr. Krasny Comic

Comic strip set in a pizza place with Mr. Krasny at the counter. Two customers walk in and ask if a medium pizza is enough to feed them both. Mr. Krasny says 'See, usually it's two females that order a medium...' the two men look at one another and decide to order a large.

The Club Sandwich Problem

A club sandwich is a double decker sandwich turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise on toasted bread. Most everyone has eaten a club sandwich at one time or another. Every Americana restaurant has a club sandwich on the menu. Seems hard not to like, it doesn’t have anything weird on it like thousand island dressing, sauerkraut, black olives, avocado, just the basics. They even seal the deal with bacon.

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Techno-Porn Music Videos

Want to know what my two favorite things are? Techno music and beautiful women. Beautiful women that dance for me and entertain me. Lucky for us these two passions of mine sometimes come together in a magnificent work of art like a music video in which women are exploited and objectified. When I run into such a video I always save it, and now I present my collection to you.

Windowlicker – Aphex Twin

I am going to start with Windolicker, and those of you who have never seen it… You are in for a ride. But I think it’s good to put everyone into the right frame of mind to enjoy the rest of these videos. Although it’s hard to call these women beautiful, I think this video is probably making a profound point about objectification. Maybe?

Chica Bomb – Dan Balan

Dan Balan, world’s best dancer knows how to make a video. Make sure not to miss his epic seizure dance at 1:55, I usually watch it 5-7 times in a row. Bonus points for girls sucking on popsicles and dumping water all over themselves to get wet and cool off.

Put your Hands up for Detroit – Fedde Le Grand

Fedde Le Grand puts out some good content clearly, as he makes my list twice. This video takes place in a not-so-desolate future where robot women tirelessly work at a “Fedde Le Grand” factory trying to make the perfect male robot. The key ingredient is to make sure he can be properly “aroused?” Wonderful.

The Creeps – Fedde Le Grand and Camille Jones

Fedde Le Grand doesn’t disappoint in this video as he plays the part of a super rich company head who employs only beautiful submissive women (all of which are wearing stockings – win). Actually I think “50 Shades of Grey” is probably based on this music video (although this video is better written). Bonus points for a woman seductively crawling on the ground while holding letter in her mouth. I wish that is how everything was delivered to me.

Destination Unknown – Alex Gaudino

I have a soft spot for green and pink color schemes. It reminds me of watermelons, and I love watermelons. We have a whole marching-band of foxy girls in green underwear and pink lipstick blowing into saxophones. Nice choreography. Bonus point for a girl licking a saxophone.

Call on Me – Eric Prydz

I remember watching tv shows like this when I was six years old while my mom was cooking or cleaning or something. I loved them even back then. Now that I am a big boy there is nothing better. It’s a real shame most aerobics sessions look nothing like this mostly the women are old, large and ugly, but at least we can dream. Eric Prydz knows what I am talking about.

Satisfaction – Benny Benassi

This is the big daddy of techno-porn. Benny Benassi is a hero of mine, not just because he uses the most aggressive bass, but also because he is king of making videos. My favorite girl is the one drilling at 0:20 seconds. Yeah… lick those lips baby.

Who’s Your Daddy – Benny Benassi

Benny outdoes himself with a music video I would never want my mother to see. It features a set of fictional and satirical porn film DVD covers. Bonus point for two girls simultaneously licking a vanilla ice cream cone.

Pon Da Floor – Major Lazer

You guys know who Eric Wareheim is? He is from Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show Great Job and he is a supremely weird dude. A video like this could only come from him and it’s hard for me to describe. What I can say is it seems to be based on a Jamaican form of “dance” called “daggering.”

Lollipop – Alexandra Stan

The lyrics… I am very confused. “I’m so deleeeeeecious when I lick my lollipop?” Well, I guess it isn’t my concern is it? The best part is easily the wonderful female saxophone player at 1:15. Who would have thought she could be so good at playing?

Easy Love – MSTRKRFT

Video starts off pretty tastefully with conservatively dressed women sucking milkshakes through straws. Then turns into a strange erotic strawberry milkshake innuendo. Ever heard of a pearl necklace? How about a facial? How about water-boarding? It’s all here.

Rock DJ – Robbie Williams

Here is a free bonus. Although it isn’t really about the women, I do think it is making a statement about music videos and how far one needs to go. It also features some very hot cannibal chicks. Yeah watch it till the end, I dare you.

CSS Post-It Note

I wrote a blog post for MentorMate.com about making the perfect CSS only Post-It note. I am pretty sure I nailed it. will probably start seeing it appear in my haiku blog every now and then if you know what I mean. Check out the post:

Candy Bar Cross Sections

I just think this is really interesting for no particular reason. I tried to guess them all, but I don’t actually have the correct answers so it was futile. Made me hungry for a Snickers though I’ll tell you that much! Here is what I can identify: Snickers, Rolo, Almond Joy, Mounds, Butterfinger, Three Musketeers, Milky Way and Caramello.

The Reason John Carter Bombed

In case anyone is curious why the Disney movie John Carter is bombing catastrophically in the box office despite a 100 million dollar marketing budget, I think I know why. It isn’t because the acting is bad. Not because the casting is bad. Not even because the plotline is bad. I haven’t even SEEN the movie and I can tell you exactly why it didn’t do “as well as expected.” Look how awful these movies sound. Can you figure out what I changed to ensure these films auto-bomb!? Click on the images for the unmodified versions.

A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region. A posse of cowboys and natives are all that stand in their way.

Cowboys and Aliens Poster

In a Fascist future where all forms of feeling are illegal, a man in charge of enforcing the law rises to overthrow the system.

Equilebrium Poster

The aliens are coming and their goal is to invade and destroy. Fighting superior technology, Man’s best weapon is the will to survive.

Independance Day Poster

A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his role in the war against its controllers.

Matrix Poster

In a future where a special police unit is able to arrest murderers before they commit their crimes, an officer from that unit is himself accused of a future murder.

Minority Report Poster

In a dystopic and crime ridden Detroit, a terminally wounded cop returns to the force as a powerful cyborg with submerged memories haunting him.

Robocop Poster

A human-looking, apparently unstoppable cyborg is sent from the future to kill Sarah Connor; Kyle Reese is sent to stop it.

Terminator Poster

An astronaut has a quintessentially personal encounter toward the end of his three-year stint on the Moon, where he, working alongside his computer, GERTY, sends back to Earth parcels of a resource that has helped diminish our planet’s power problems.

Moon Poster

When a man goes for virtual vacation memories of the planet Mars, an unexpected and harrowing series of events forces him to go to the planet for real, or does he?

Total Recall Poster

A hacker is literally abducted into the world of a computer and forced to participate in gladiatorial games where his only chance of escape is with the help of a heroic security program.

Tron Poster

Transplanted to Mars, a Civil War vet discovers a lush planet inhabited by 12-foot tall barbarians. Finding himself a prisoner of these creatures, he escapes, only to encounter a princess who is in desperate need of a savior.

John Carter Poster

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Hottest Video Game Girls 16 (Bits) and Under

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Anyone can put together a list of the sexiest video game girls. It takes a true connoisseur to limit himself to only those of the 16-bit and under variety. Don’t tell me you never fantasized about any of these perfectly-crafted pixel pretties! I present to you my top ten sexiest girls from the retro gaming world. They are in no particular order except for Peach being last because she is, and has always been, my secret fantasy. Please enjoy! Warning: Lot’s of images!!!

Cammy

Cammy… where to begin. Cammy is one of those characters that was custom-built to be a sex icon. I mean look at what she is wearing. We are supposed to believe she is a military girl? Maybe the swimming pool military. Look at her victory pose! That actually happens in the game when she wins, she turns around and shows the player her perfectly toned delicious ass as a reward for the win. Imagine what she would do if you took her out to dinner.

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Cammy is from Street Figher, for the uninitiated. She appears first in “The New Challengers” joining the cast as the only girl next to Chun-Li. Why didn’t I choose Chun-Li you ask? Well two reasons, first Cammy is better dressed. By better I mean I can see more of her ass. Although Chun-Li does wear stockings, which I love, so maybe that is a toss up? The real reason is Chun-Li’s legs are just too muscular for me. They are a little intimidating actually. Cammy, despite being an expert hand to hand combatant still strikes me as a flirty girly girl.

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Not much imagination is needed to sexualize Cammy, “butt” one thing is for sure … If you are going to do Cammy, you better get the ass right.

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Sonya Blade

It’s weird to have Sonya on a 16-bit list because she is only barely a 16-bit character. Sonya is a motion capture of a real woman (an athletics instructor) so her body is actually real. Nevertheless Sonya is on the Genesis and SNES in 16-bit glory so she counts. The fact that she is actually a real women gives fantasizing about her a little more merit does it not? All of Sonya’s moves look so realistic, that delightful leg grab for example. Imagine having your head locked inside those powerful legs. A dream come true for some, including yours truly.

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Sonya was a late addition to Mortal Kombat. The game was almost completed without any female fighters at all but at the last second they decided to add one in. Good idea! Nerdy boys like girls duh! Obviously she was a huge hit, the “better half” of Mortal Kombat has grown with every evolution. Some may say Kitana or Jade are sexier Mortal Kombatants but they would be wrong. They don’t have her legs.

After MK1 Sonya is oddly missing from the MK2 … Or is she!? She can be seen shackled on the sidelines of Shao Khan’s arena. Shao Khan sure does know how to treat a lady, that rapist. Can’t say I blame him, if I was a badass like Shao Khan I would shackle love slaves all over my palace too.

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Sonya has it pretty rough. She lives a spartan life keeping murdering scum off the streets, no time for romance. This is exactly why I would like to take Sonya out on a date, treat her like a lady, open the door for her, give her an excuse to wear that sexy dress and those strappy shoes she bought that one hopeful night. The night she almost went on a date. The dress that now hangs in her closet as a reminder of the life she can’t have. I want to give her that life. If only for one night. Especially if she is played by Jeri Ryan.

Samus Aran

Samus is a woman.

That was quite the development back in the day. Imagine a snot-nosed kid (me) playing Metroid on the NES. Spending entire DAYS in this black cave, lost as fuck, exploring, backtracking, shooting random aliens with a hand cannon. You really get into Samus’ head when you are trapped alone in the dark with only him. He becomes you, and it is you wearing that power suit. Until you realize you are a woman and your subconscious is thrown out of the suit like a bullet out of a slingshot. You actually have less in common than you thought! But then you get to thinking. How much does it matter that she is a girl? You both went through the same adventure, risked your lives together, lived inside the same suit, tasted each other’s sweat … I mean …

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It was a hell of a revelation. M. Knight. Shamaylan eat your fucking heart out. That is how you do a twist. Actually it’s probably where that con artist got the idea for a twist in the first place.

Nintendo understood. The Metroid kids have been enjoying Samus wet dreams for over ten years, so they gave them what they wanted: the “Zero Suit.” Not really sure how or why it fits into the story all I know is it’s a blue, latex, skin-tight suit that shows off Samus’s perfect body from every angle. Trust me, I have checked.

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Mai Shiranui

Mai is from the SNK fighting game series’ King of Fighters and Fatal Fury. Although, I first discovered her in the much later game: Capcom vs SNK. Like her fighting game counterpart Cammy, Mai is a blatant sex symbol. Her 16-bit sprites actually have 2D boob jiggle. Possibly the first time this was done? I am not sure, but as soon as I found out I made sure to look up some videos.

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Mai is a ninja who uses fans as her weapons, along with some fire abilities. Her real special power however, is having the best body in video game history, and she isn’t afraid to show it. Wearing next to nothing has several advantages for a ninja. First, it allows for maximum mobility. Second, she will surely distract any male combatants who are not prepared for what they see. Let’s be serious, Mai is a sexy, asian, female ninja sexpot. She is a like an explosion of fetish stereotypes. All you girls better be taking notes.

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Lucca

Chrono Trigger is a treasure among Super Nintendo games. This RPG consistently makes top ten lists for best game, and so do its ladies. There are three female characters in Chrono’s party, Marle the blond princess (typical), Ayla the prehistoric cave woman and Lucca the nerdy inventor. When I played the game I always took Lucca and Frog as my teammates. Frog just because I think a frog wearing gentlemen’s garb donning a sword bigger than himself is fucking badass, and Lucca … My sweet Lucca.

The sexy nerdy girl is an often sought stereotype among fantasy characters. Lucca covers all the bases. She is skinny, funny, nice, smart and most of all totally clueless about how SMOKING HOT she is. She has probably never been handled by the deft hands of a “skilled man” like myself. Lucca deserves to be treated like a beautiful women.

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altIf I was Chrono, the choice would be clear. Marle is already a pampered princess, probably totally high maintenance. Lucca on the other hand is prime for the picking. On one of the cold nights in the desolate future in dome 16 I would make my move. After she is snuggled up holding her covers tightly, wishing a warm body could be next to hers, to comfort her, not only from the cold, but also the uncertain future. I would slowly remove the glasses from her pretty face and we would both wonder who’s dream this is.

Dixie Kong

I realize I am walking a fine line here, a fine line between an innocent fantasy and pedophiliac bestiality, but I think Dixie Kong is kinda sexy. if imagining this sexy blond chimp eating a banana is wrong, I don’t want to be right. It seems I might be the only one due to the lack of both fan art, and cosplay of everyone’s favorite chimpette. But why? Is it because she is a monkey? Give me a break! She can talk, she wears make up and clothing. She is more human than many humans I know. Is it because she is only 14 years old? Well she was 14 years old when she was in DKC2 but that was like a 20 years ago, she isn’t jailbait anymore.

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Tyris Flare

Raise your hand if you remember Golden Axe? I can’t tell if nobody knows about this game, or my circle of friends has simply not be exposed to it enough. I have no idea how popular it is at all. Is this an esoteric choice? You have probably noticed most of my characters are coming from Super Nintendo. Well, here is my Sega entry.

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Golden Axe is a beat-em-up game similar to Final Fight, or Battle Toads set in the bronze age. You can control one of three characters, the male barbarian, the female barbarian or the dwarves barbarian. Tyris Flare is the female, and she is a beast. Not only is she wielding a massive sword, kicking ass and taking names, but she looks damn good doing it. She is wearing the classic barbarian bikini, which provides her no protection whatsoever from enemy attacks, but sometimes you need to make sacrifices for fashion. Next time I hear a girl complain about how uncomfortable high heels are am going to reference Tyris getting hit by a fucking axe in the middle of some icy prehistoric mountain range wearing nothing but red boots and white panties and tell her to shut the fuck up.

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Zelda

The Legend of Zelda is one of Nintendo’s mega brands. There have been one or more Zelda games on every Nintendo Console from the NES all the way to the current Wii U. This allowed the Princess Zelda plenty of time and opportunity to transform from being a helpless damsel to a playable character. She even joins the Smash Brothers Melee and Brawl cast to throw down. Nintendo even gave her the blue jumpsuit makeover, which catapulted Zelda, or should I say “Shiek” her ninja alter-ego into the realm of super sexy.

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I never got into the Zelda games. I played the original on NES, but never played any others so Princess Zelda isn’t that close to my heart. However I do have a soft spot for princesses in general so she still makes my list of hottest 16-bit vixens. Well, her being a princess and being best friends with Peach of course.

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There is an interesting thing about Zelda. Looking for provocative images of the other ladies on this list has been easy (with the exception of Dixie Kong) but the collective internet seems to have a strange respect for Zelda. She rarely appears in vulgar fan renderings. All of the other girls have hardcore sex images, hermaphrodite concepts, the whole scattered list of fetishes including bondage, feet, tickling, latex, watersport, chubby, skinny, pregnant, handicapped … but not Zelda, she is squeaky clean! Not sure why that is. How different is she than Peach really? Perhaps even MORE interestingly, there are tons of images of Zelda, Samus and Peach getting frisky together. I guess those other two are a bad influence on Zelda. Those three probably do their fair share of experimenting don’t you think? Wouldn’t you love to hide under the bed of that slumber party? I know I would.

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Peach

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Peach, we all know her. She is the original damsel in distress. Even before Bowser was kidnapping Peach, she was being kidnapped by Donkey Kong. I know it’s just a simple story trope, but really… why did these monsters kidnap Peach? Holding her for ransom? Mario can’t’ afford to pay anything, he is a plumber. Bowser is already king of an entire kingdom, does he really need money? Donkey Kong? He is an ape! He needs bananas so badly that he will kidnap a princess? Why not break into the banana factory? No that is only what they want you to think. The are 100% sick degenerate rapists. They want to kidnap my delicate flower, tie her up, and have their sadistic ways with her. THAT is why I play Mario games. It isn’t just a game, it is a personal quest.

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Most of us remember princess peach first from Mario 2. Of course she was in the original Super Mario Brothers but mostly people couldn’t name her back then, at least not beyond “the princess.” In Mario 2 she was a playable character and a noteworthy one at that due to her ability to float for an extended period of time. Beyond that she has been a staple in Nintendo games either being kidnapped by Bowser or as a playable character in Nintendo’s various party and sports games. Nintendo is doing a good job playing in to the fan service lately. Check out the body on Peach in some of those sports games. Brings a smile to my face every time. It’s interesting how she didn’t have blond hair in her first appearances, but later simply had blond hair. Was this just a continuity mistake? Or was the color yellow hard to work with in NES games? Clearly now, she is blond, and seemingly was always thought of as blond despite her hair being red or brown. Doesn’t matter, I love Peach no matter what color her hair is. Peach has always been my kind of girl: prissy, delicate, feminine and needs to be rescued. A real girly girl.

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Ever wonder what kind of underwear Peach wears? Don’t tell me you never did. Pretty girl in a pink dress, its perfectly natural to want to see what is underneath. Look at her putting those stockings on, putting them on just for me. I would love nothing more than to peel those stockings off with my teeth, to feel the smoothness her skin, and inhale her breaths.

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Is there someone I missed? I haven’t played every 16-bit game so I am sure there are plenty of beautiful gems that I have never even heard of. Please share your thoughts.

All the delicious parts of Pam Anderson

Hypothetical: Acceptable Cannibalism

All the delicious parts of Pam AndersonYou are familiar with the concept of organ donors? Same concept, except people donate their bodies and organs to the culinary world. This question is about sanctioned cannibalism. Here is the deal, you sign up as a donor and in return your family, or whoever you want, gets a hefty reward after your death. It is like insurance but totally separate. Don’t worry about how much they pay out, that isn’t what the question is about. The point is, all the human meat comes from volunteers, who died of naturally or accidentally, who’s family is prospering.

Because of this, human meat is commonplace. It isn’t cheap and plentiful, but it is readily available at your local grocery store and specialty meat markets. Purchasing, cooking and eating this human meat is legal. There are cook books on the market dealing specifically with cooking humans and which cuts are best with which wine etc.

Would you refuse to eat human meat even in this world? Or would you partake?

alt : Discuss on the forum or comment below.